Ok, a bunch of kids are going to graduate high school this spring. Ok, we don’t want them to go out, get drunk and kill themselves the very night they get their diplomas. Ok, we need to raise a gazillion dollars to throw them the biggest party ever. Ok, enough already.

The Project Graduation mommies are out in full force. Last Friday night, Montclair’s Project Graduation held its “biggest event of the [Project Graduation fundraising] season” — Copacabana night at the Montclair Art Museum. Next: on Thursday, Feb. 8, a bunch of restaurants* will donate between 10 and 20 percent of their revenues for lunch or dinners to the cause. Last fall, they were selling mums. And in Glen Ridge, the Project Graduation moms are perpetually chopping onions making Project Graduation chili dinners.

Now, here comes Project Graduation for the Glen Ridge Class of 2014. Yes, 2014. Laura Buchmann, mother of a Glen Ridge fourth grader, has circulated a letter looking to get a head start on fundraising for the special night. And that, apparently, comes on the heels of the fifth-grade moms’ successful fundraiser for the class of 2013.

Typically the Project Graduation committee fundraise a lot of money in a short period of time as I’m sure many of you know. In order to avoid this flurry of fundraising I thought maybe we could get a head start and host some type of annual event for the class and start up an account for the benefit of the Class of 2014. The class of 2013 has begun fundraising for their Project Graduation and has raised over $2,500 with their 1st fundraiser, a parent social.

Project_graduation_mittens_2019 But why stop there? Where are the mothers of the class of 2019? Busy looking around for their children’s mittens? Ha! Think of it as an opportunity. It’s never too early to plan for Project Graduation.

L=Lunch, D=Dinner, **=Reservations recommended

Egan & Son√¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s, 118 Walnut St.                   

973-744-1413            D   

Udupi Village, 511 Bloomfield Ave.

973-233-1905            L, D, **

Sushi Hana, 5 N. Fullerton Ave.

973-746-3900            L, D, **

The Jerk Pit, 446 Bloomfield Ave.

973-509-5375            D

Nauna’s Bella Casa, 148 Valley Rd.

973-744-3232            L, D

Church Street Café, 12 Church St.

973-233-0216            L, D, **

South Park Bar & Grill, 30 South Park St.

973-744-0402            L, D

Gag’s Carribean American, 318 Orange Rd.

973-509-1002            L, D

Lalezar, 718 Bloomfield Ave.

973-233-1984            D, **

Little Saigon, 19 Elm St.

973-783-3914            D

Orbis Bistro, 128 Watchung Ave.

973-746-7641            D, **

Corso 98, 98 Walnut St.

973-746-0789            D

Osteria Giotto, 21 Midland Ave.

973-746-0111            D, **

Indigo Smoke, 381 Bloomfield Ave.

973-746-6778            D, **

Café Sultan, 38 Upper Montclair Plaza

973-655-1441            D

Sweet Potato & Pecan, 103 Forest St.

973-746-3444            L

The Energy Bar Cafe, 307C Orange Rd.

973-746-7003            L, D

140 replies on “Project Graduation Overload”

  3. ROC,
    LOL…it really is exciting when a go-go girl goes wild. Was that you or Phil Harris in the starring role?

  5. Is it really cool to go to a Project Graduation party? Or is it cooler to go to the after-party at someone’s home, when the parents are out-of-town on business/vacation? Maybe the PG moms need to address all the student’s parents instead …

  7. I graduated from Cedar Grove HS in 1997 and our project graduation was at Spa 23. It was a great time. We had a bungie run, a velcro wall, kareoke, etc. I fully support project graduation, but I think its a little ridiculous to fund this so many years in advance. I do not remember any funding for our project graduation prior to our junior or senior year.

  8. I am accepting tax free donations to the Project Ice Man Retirement Fund…the corporate hdqts are located in Aruba.
    “where did i leave the damn sun screen”

  9. Can I just ask how much a “typical” party (if there is any such thing) costs? And what’s included? Name entertainment? Lucullan feasts? If you move before graduation, will they send you your “share” of monies raised (which of course were in interest-earning escrow)?
    Captain Vegetable, you have a great idea. I’d just like to postdate it a few decades back.

  10. I remember when my kid was in fifth grade, one of the mothers– later elected to the Town Council on the Remsen slate– suggested for the “Moving Up” party a dinner-and-dancing cruise around Manhattan.
    These are 10 and 11-year-olds we’re talking about.

  11. Back in 5th grade in my day, Your lateness, I would have settled re the move to 6th grade for another container of chocolate milk and some licorice ropes. All of this stuff costs real money. Are there no parental protests about such outlays?

  12. Ice, you’re a riot. 🙂
    Geez, they didn’t do anything for my dog when he was graduated from obedience school.

  13. RE: Jim’s cynicism…
    Project Graduation, for me, was only a few years back, and I remember it fondly. Most of my class was big into the weekend partying/drinking, much like GRHS students still are. However, Project Graduation truly was a break from the norm, in that every single person attended and (as far as I know) was sober. At least in GR, they do it in a way that the students are accounted for the entire evening…. from the dinner party, to the house party, and then the pool party, which lasted until sunrise and culminated with breakfast. No one left, or tried to sneak away, and everyone had fun.
    Put a little bit of faith into kids. Yes, they will be stupid once in a while, but they are still kids– and they ARE capable of having fun and celebrating without acting like the drain on society that everyone makes them out to be.
    So, yes, parents should (and most likely will) be asked to keep an eye out for trouble. But that doesn’t mean that trouble is inevitable.

  14. cathar,
    when i graduated high school my father shook my hand and said good job. He did the same when i graduated from college. there weren’t gifts or fancy parties cause it was an expected outcome.
    in 5th grade i too would have gladly accepted the chocolate milk but instead of the licorice i would opt for the chocolate covered graham crackers.

  15. At least your father shook your hand and said “Good job,” Iceman. The nuns I had in grade school said, instead, “You’re lucky we let you graduate, mister smarty pants, and even then it was just by the skin of your teeth.” Pre-Vatican II Papistness was such fun.

  16. My parents took me out to dinner but I never expected anything else from them or anyone else. I did hang out with friends at someone’s house after graduation. Nothing horrific happened.

  18. Ok, this is coming from someone who has been accused of being a bored housewife with WAY TOO MUCH TIME on my hands.. but I gotta say the moms of the class of 2014 take the grand prize. How ridiculous is that? BTW, I have a high school senior this year who has informed me that he wants no part of project graduation. He and his friends want to get away from school, school rules, etc and have a GOOD time without school administrators, teachers and board of education members hovering. Can’t say I blame him.

  19. The idea of Project Graduation is to keep kids in a drug free, drink free place where they can have tons of fun – the last one I knew of was in the RexPlex indoor amusement center next to the Elizabeth Ikea, my sisters grad class, and they had a ton of fun. The parents who get involved – with planning and fundraising, really do a great job.
    I didn’t go to my PG –it was a brand new idea at the time. Instead I was one of the kids at the keg party, toking on dirty sticks and doing things I’d rather my parents didn’t know about. Being an older sister I was very happy that my siblings had a better option, whatever the expense.

  20. This is a first-time post, so it probably won’t come out right.
    I am under the impression that posters misunderstand the meaning of this fundraising. The event would not be for the move-up party for fourth-graders (a lot of parents worked really hard two years ago when they had a move-up party for 2nd grade promotion). The money raised by the event(s) would be saved for when the current 4th graders graduate high school. Participation is absolutely non-mandatory and the money collected would benefit each graduating senior of 2014. No public/tax money is spent on this, so I am not sure why one of the posters above is questioning cost, and I am particularly perplexed by another poster’s reference to the canine obedience classes…
    I am not sure why so many people object to Project Graduation, it sounds like a fun night for the kids to celebrate achievement and it makes sense to avoid an overload of fund-raising senior year by hosting annual events.

  21. Flies weren’t allowed “on the wall” back in grade school with the Benedictines, walleroo. Remember, Satan is “Lord of the flies.” Sister Benedict would have crushed you under her heel. Worse, Sister Miriam would have put you in a jar and poured honey on you, and invited the class to watch your death throes.
    And no, I am decidedly not kidding. Is it any wonder we started hitting the altar wine at a tender age?

  22. “I am particularly perplexed by another poster’s reference to the canine obedience classes…”
    Oh, lighten up…can’t you tell a joke when you read one?

  23. I wasn’t “questioning” costs, mom of a 2014…, merely asking out of genuine curiousity what things do cost. My own daughter’s school currently casts its graduates to the wind as soon as the diplomas are in their hot little hands, by contrast.
    And your post was fine. I just think some people are aghast that planning for the bash begins so many years before.
    Now that it’s been mentioned, however, doggie-style obedience classes might not be a bad idea now for the class of 2014….Perhaps even, to make walleroo ecstatic, by retired nuns…..

  24. “I just think some people are aghast that planning for the bash begins so many years before.”
    Agreed. We’re talking 8 years here! It’s not as if you have to rent out Buckingham Place for a royal wedding.

  26. Oh, by the way — as a former president of a home and school association — I hope the Glen Ridge fundraisers ’14 are paying attention to tax laws, etc. I really don’t think you can just willynilly start fundraising and carry money over year after year for 8 years. They ought to consult an accountant or attorney.

  28. ok, maybe I’m going to get yelled at here, but this is so Suburban-Mommy-Overload to me. These mothers with too much time on their hands are so busy protecting their little darlings from everything, it makes me crazy.
    Why don’t they try equipping the kids with some good decision making skills and letting them do their own thing?
    You can spend thousands and thousands of dollars on some school-sanctioned graduation event, but kids are still going to do what they want to do. If you instead spend some time teaching them to understand the consequences of drinking and drug use, maybe you could spend that donated money on someone who needs it more than the overpampered and overprivileged Baristaville children – like starving kids in Africa or kids who lost everything in the devastation of Hurricane Katrina.
    I’m sorry, but sometimes I am shocked at people’s priorities here.

  29. Daniella,
    thank god for a friendly voice in the wilderness. I have never had kids so i stay away from these discussions but i had to opine agreeing with you. I know i sound like an old fart but in my generation most of my friends were taught about decisioln making and the basic right from wrong. then we were on our own to grow up.
    i chose not be a father so i really can’t comment on your decisions cause i have no idea what you’re experiencing.

  30. When my 14-yr-old graduated Mt. Hebron in 2000, they held a “chaperoned” dinner dance at whatever’s-the-new-name-of the Robin Hood Inn on Valley Road. When I went to pick her up, most of the class was on the dance floor dry-humping each other to inappropriately sexual music. The teachers were all sitting at a table ignoring the whole disgusting scene. I could have had a fit but decided to just get her the hell out of there and not have anything to do with the school again. Second kid is in Glenfield, though Mt. Hebron is a half a block from my house.

  32. When I graduated in New York State, the drinking age was 18, so we had a legal kegger in my backyard. It was good.
    We removed the distributor cap from the car of my friend who was insisting on trying to drive home drunk.

  33. I already posted I didn’t go to my PG, but I was involved in the fundraising- we jello wrestled in ice cold green jelo that dyed my skin – my team lost!
    We also raised our own money for prom – so no one from our class would have a problem affording to attend – some of us, (like me), knew we had cushy lives and we knew we had classmates who didn’t.
    We also raised money to give the school a gift from our class.
    My sibling’s classes did the same.
    Schools fund raise for all kinds of events, all the time – sports teams, band equipment, etc. Why not a party celebrating sober?

  34. Susanr5, is Glenfield definitely better in your opinion? I have a middle schooler in Mt. Hebron and we’re thinking of trying to make a switch.

  36. I agree that raising $ now is ridiculous, yet I will be sending in my check. Why? Because these parties have turned into super-expensive events. Whether or not I agree with project graduation or not (not really)I don’t want to get stuck trying to raise/extort all that money in one year. The parties are free to all of the seniors so the money has to come from somewhere. Wouldn’t you all rather have the parents contributing to our private account over 8 years then badgering you all to participate in multiple fundraisers all year long?

  37. As co-chair of MHS’s Project Graduation 2006, I am sorry to read the sarcastic and flippant remarks about this event. While I certainly understand the incredulity of beginning fundraising for an event eight years in the future, more than seventy parents of MHS seniors have contributed and are contributing countless hours toward fundraising for our 2006 event, only six months from now.
    Our sole objective is to provide a safe, secure environment for our graduates to spend one last evening together before they go off into the world. While I truly believe that most of our kids understand the dangers of drinking and drugging, I also believe that giving them this one night to celebrate safely is a worthwhile venture.
    I want to praise and thank those who are supporting MHS’s PG 2006. Not just the volunteers and parents but our local businesses and residents who give generously, contributing both money and in-kind support, as well as the MHS staff and faculty, the Board of Education, the MFEE and the town’s elected officials and staff. Without your support, this event could not happen!
    For more information about MHS Project Graduation and a schedule of upcoming fundraising events, please visit http://www.mhsprojectgraduation.org.
    Thanks,
    Jill Levy

  38. Jill Levy, that’s a very nice explanation of the importance of Project Graduation. It did not, however, quite explain what one of these “projects” costs, amortized over 8 years or paid for in 1.
    What, for instance, does all that ice cold green jell-o cost? I can’t imagine the local go-go bars pay too much for it when they have their “jell-o wrestling nights,” after all.

  40. Ice, as long as the money goes to a worthwhile cause (i.e. not to fund an expensive soiree for the children of priviledge), I am all for it!

  41. Fine, but it’s still jell-o and it’s trademarked that way! Didn’t you guys ever see those old Cosby commercials?
    Loser gets cheaplazymom.

  42. Susanr5:
    Yes, please let us know your opinion on the 2 schools, now that you’ve had experience in both – I’m obsessing over the middle school thing already, even though we have have a year to go.
    FWIW, we attended a sweet-16 party last fall for a young relative (then a sophomore at Mtc. High) who had previously attended Glenfield…the same thing you describe was happening on the dance floor, plus some other extracurricular nastiness…not only that, but a crowd of freshman girls showed up drunk and spent the evening barfing in the ladies room (sadly, elswehere too) – we were horrified! (I must be getting old!)
    I’m just not sure it’s only happening with kids who attend a certain school. I know some schools in Southern Calif. have actually banned that type of dancing.

  43. To clarify, no jello wrestling 😉 This year, we’ve sold flowers, had a fundraiser at Rascals Comedy Club, a Pancake Breakfast and the Casino Night event. Upcoming will be a dance at Diva Lounge, an assortment of privately-held (but open to ALL) dinner parties and of course, the Dine Out mentioned in the Barista article.
    All funds being raised are for THIS YEAR’s event. Why?? Because we charge the students only $5 each so that ALL graduating seniors may participate without regard to their (or their parents’) ability to fund it.

  44. Sadly, MHS has stopped the jello wrestling! It lasted a few years – at least 5 as my little brother did it too.
    It was fun because the 2 person teams had to come up with a theme, had to have music to walk in with, there was trash talking, the works.
    There was a group that brought in the ring, the ice, the jello, and gave us the run down of rules and being safe. I assume they still go around setting up for these events – like a dj, or party clown would.
    Hey, I’ll find out more if you guys want to do it for your troll gathering. We’ll sell tickets to raise money for your favorite charity…
    “Troll jello wrestling – it’s not just under bridges anymore!”

  45. why not walleroo and cheaplazymom for the undercard…greg(yawn) could provide the refreshments and everyone at the door will be asked to bring a fresh box of jell-o…will u autograph my jell-o box, cathar?
    troll on

  46. A bit off topic – but has anyone here watched that show “My Super Sweet 16” ?
    Talk about spoiled kids and wishy-washy parents.

  48. “Troll jello wrestling – it’s not just under bridges anymore!”
    hrhppg…that is lol funny, glad u have a sense of humor.
    will i hafta wear protective booties over my hairy troll feet?

  50. “I am sorry to read the sarcastic and flippant remarks about this event.”
    Cheer up, Jill. There’s no such thing as bad publicity.

  51. I’ve now been grouped with cheaplazymom and latebloomer in one day. Maybe I should say something right-wing sounding.

  52. I had a neighbor who stole about 70,000 out of the Script program in Rhode Island, along with numerous other con jobs-she now sits in Ryker’s for some unrelated charges-one of her gigs was Head Class mother—-too much of other people’s money in the hand makes for trouble.

  53. “Oh, lighten up…can’t you tell a joke when you read one?”
    Miss Martta (8T), nice to see your sense of humor is functioning when you make a playful comment about a newcomer’s post, but not when Ed Remsen does the same thing to you.

  54. Ed’s comment wasn’t playful. It was mean. And, he never apologized.
    So, for the record, if the above post about dog school was offensive to anyone, I apologize.

  55. Walleroo- seems to me you’re in great company!
    Martta- Why is it offensive to celebrate your dog’s graduation. I don’t understand?

  56. “Martta- Why is it offensive to celebrate your dog’s graduation. I don’t understand?”
    I don’t know. Ask the person who complained.

  57. Sweet Sixteen is the best show I have ever watched. MTV now makes shows for the sole purpose of making us laugh at the sad people featured in them. Sweet Sixteen does just that.

  58. I agree Katie – but I want to see a follow up show called – ’20 something bimbos no longer supported by daddy!’

  59. After all the exchanges above, I learn that, after all the fundraising, they still charge kids $5 a pop for Project Graduation. Amazing. Will they at least let dogs in for free?
    Congrats from me too, hrhppg, on your sense of humor. As for whomever supplies the jell-o (again, there is a hyphen!), I’m sure they also work go-go bars I’ve, uh, driven by in the past. Sorry to hear the tradition has been dumped off.
    Walleroo, you are hereby moved to a separate category entirely, because we felt and heard your pain. You can mudwrestle Matt Stoller.

  63. So, how much money do you guys have to raise? Its a simple enough question, but nobody wants to say the number. Is it because it is so ridiculously over the top?
    Frankly, I’m exhausted by all the current, in the moment fundraising I have to do– PTA, Brownies (anybody want to buy some Girls Scout Cookies?), class trips, teacher appreciation, not to mention the VISA bill and the oil tank fill. If I had to contribute for an event to be held in 8 years, I’d have a college tuition fund! Raising money for my 5th graders High School Graduation Party sounds only marginally better than bikini wrestling in lime jello with Jack Abramoff. Sorry guys, but if I’m going to get covered in slimy green goo for charity, I want it to be with the pros.

  64. clmom,
    Thin mints and those peanut buter ones…..actually can you email me a list please, I always forget the different kinds.
    Thanks!

  65. It amazes me that all 55 of these comments can be made, some of them even criticizing that the moms involved in getting a jump start “have way too much time on their hands”. I could say the same about all of you who spend way too much time blogging (or whatever you people call it)! I am the mom of a GR 4th grader and I am the one who thought it might be a good idea to start planning in advance. While I may or may not agree with the concept of PG, I know that in 8 years my daughter and the rest of her class will expect to have some kind of celebration. Is it right to ask the entire town to fund this night? My suggestion to the parents of the class of 2014 was to have an annual social event that would enable us (as parents) to interact with the parents of our childrens’ friends. The older our children get, the less we know about their friends and the older our kids get, the more we should know about their friends and their parents! If we can accomplish this and raise some $$ in advance, why not? To me it’s a no brainer!
    Laura Buchmann

  68. Laura, if you don’t yourself quite agree with the “concept” of Project Graduation, why assume that your own offpsring will “expect” a lavish party?
    Why not, too, try to allay the fears of several that “lavish” really means just that? Just above, cheaplazymom also asked about the cost, for example. Surely it can’t cost more than a nice-sized wedding, can it? It’s gettng really interesting that even as the fund-raising is defended, nothing is ever offered as to how much is spent. I was originally idly curious, now I wonder why a sum can’t just be tossed out.

  69. Appletony, I also graduated in New York when the drinking age was 18. I worked (as a bartender at a country club) the night before graduation and conned a half-keg out of the bar manager. Loaded it up in the trunk of the Chebby and headed for Jones Beach, where most of the class went for an all-nighter after graduation. We kind of didn’t need our mothers making plans for us.

  70. First of all I did not say I don’t agree with the concept of PG; obviously I would not be trying to raise $ if I did not agree with the concept. As far as tossing out a sum, it is way to early to start planning our PG. Typically, there is a dinner at the GRCC, a tent party and a breakfast. Whether the parents of the class of 2014 decide to do that or to do something else is entirely up to them. I have inquired about the cost of a “typical” PG and was told $25k.
    In spite of all of the criticism that PG generates in this town, it has been ongoing to for at least 30 years; I guess somebody thinks it’s a good idea!

  71. Thanks a lot Cathar–I had totally forgotten about the wedding thing. Add three more future fabulous parties that I have to start saving for! So, that’s 3 graduation parties, 3 college educations, 3 weddings. Ice, where were you with the “Childfree” bandwagon 10 years ago!
    I do not criticize the Moms who want to put in the time and hard work. I do a whole bunch of that myself and I get pretty pissy when it is taken for granted. However, if it takes 8 years to raise money for a party, it is terrifically and thoroughly overblown. Meet the parents of the other classmates, by all means. Everybody get to know one another. It sounds lovely and sensible. But many of us are tapped out–with time and resources. And yes, some of us just don’t have the extra money to “invest” in a party. Who is going to manage this money? Who will be accountable for it? Who decides how much to raise? And how to spend it?
    How about the kids who are going to have fun at the party “fundraise” the money by raking leaves, babysitting or delivering papers.

  72. The veil of the Temple is rent yet again, no doubt, but I am in basic agreement with all of what cheaplazymom posts above.
    Et tu, walleroo? (I finally could not resist that one, I admit.)

  73. CLM,
    Whew, and I thought I had issues…you better start watching cramer for some ideas.
    GOOD LUCK

  74. Did I seriously just see a bunch of “lighten up’s” and “it’s just a joke’s” from the same people that derided such remarks during the PHT debacle? The hypocrisy in this community almost outweighs the idiocy!

  75. I don’t know where to start. First off, Project Graduation most certaintly does not prevent kids from getting drunk or using drugs. Second of all it costs way too much. And finally why do the moms raise money? As noble as this may be, don’t you think the kids should raise money for project graduation if they really want it? This whole thing about parents raising money for Project Graduation in 2007, is just disgusting and disgraceful. There are people in New Orleans who lost their homes and these parents are raising money for a lavish affair that will happen in 8 years. The whole project graduation thing is supposed to prevent kids from driving drunk, well guess what kids drive drunk everyday of the year!Maybe instead of throwing a lavish party, the money could be donated to Madd or another orginazation against drunk driving.
    -Margot

  76. To Cheaplazymom,
    Raking leaves, babysitting, etc sounds like a great plan. Let me know when you get this organized. My daughter will gladly participate.

  77. There are planners and there are procrastinators. I won’t label myself beyond saying that I know the Clifton Post Office is open until midnight on April 15th.
    So I guess I should admire the zeal of the parents of the Class of 2014. Can’t quite bring myself to do it, though. Maybe it’s my Irish fatalism– next week seems awefully distant and murky, I guard against thinking too far ahead. Eight years? Yikes.
    But if that’s your mission, go for it. I hope the joy and frivolity you hope for occurs.
    Meanwhile be advised that based on the current rate of inflation you’re going to need about $50K, so you’d better get baking.

  78. Laura–my point is I don’t want to organize it. Let’s just say, for the sake of argument, that it will cost $100 per student to have a safe, alcohol free experience in the year 2014. Have your daughter get a jar and save her pennies and allowance and put in $12.50 each year until she is a senior in High School. There, done. At that rate, she wouldn’t even have to get a job. Just don’t add to the already long list that Mom’s carry around. Here’s another crazy idea. How about our kids save $100 over the next 8 years to send their parents to a nice dinner!

  80. Cheaplazymom,
    That sounds like a great idea as well.
    Trying to get the entire class to do that is another thing. I would gladly fork over $100 and be done with it; but not everyone can do that. Doing what I suggested is a way to fund the night for all of the students without actually fundraising. It is also a way to raise $ within the class, not within the town. By the way, do you even have a 4th grader?

  81. Project Graduation has actually been going on even way before my husband and I graduated from GRHS in the late 60’s and 70’s. It was a great evening, and one that was filled with many great memories. There was the dinner at the Country Club followed by an all night party hosted by one of the graduates parents, where there was music, food, swimming, etc. That was followed by a breakfast party at another grad’s house.
    My older children who graduated in the early 90’s had a similar PG, and the cost was $50.00. Somewhere over the past 10 years this event has evolved into the most over-indugent, lavished affair that can only be compared to a night in Las Vegas! It wouldn’t bother me half as much if the graduates themselves were working hard to fund this night, but it is not them – it’s their parents. I have never seen one senior present and working at any PG fundraiser. What is the message these parents are sending their children? Do they really deserve this totally over-the-top evening simply because they graduated from high school? I don’t know, I just expect my kids to graduate. Yes, it is an accomplishment, and a very important milestone, but this celebration done in their honor and GIVEN to them by their parents is just a bit too much! Why not include the kids in the fundraising – prepare them for what the real world is all about, what it will really be like out there without Mommy and Daddy taking care of everything. Let them experience the rewards of hard work.
    The only gift I got on graduation night was my diploma, my husband got a mug with his class and school insignia, my son a 2 headed zebra beach towel. Today’s PG participants can expect to walk away with a day’s winning from the Price is Right. Computers, Tv’s, microwaves, etc. That is why some classes have spent as much as $50,000!!!!!
    And then as Margot mentioned there are people in New Orleans who have no homes. There are hungry, homeless people all over this country. Our kids already have so much – do we really need to give them so much more? By the time my two younger children graduate, I hope that some parents will have come to their senses and realize that this type of over-indulgenece for simply graduating high school is just wrong. The amount of money spent on this evening totally dismays me, but then too, I detest Inauguration Parties!

  83. clmom-
    you miss the whole point of fundraising.
    Duh.
    And let’s allow the graduating class decide how they want to spend the money raised. It is so easy to say “let’s donate it to the homeless”. In fact, let’s skip our vacations this summer, the dinners out on Friday, the monthly manicures, the trips to Starbucks–we should be donating that money! No one should have luxury goods when so many have to do without?!!
    I say let the kids have a party if they want it.
    Thanks to the parents who organize all this stuff.

  85. My family treated me to a dinner at Windows on the World for my ’87 graduation. Needless to say, the memory is cherished now more than ever. How “memorable” will these “sanitized for everyone’s safety” PG parties be when students look back in 15-20 years?

  86. I don’t see anything wrong with planning for a party in 2014. I’m also planning my retirement party for the year 2525, which is about when I’ll be able to afford to stop working. What a blowout this is going to be. I reckon I’ll have about $90 gadzillion saved up–enough for a cruise to the Kuiper Belt and back! You’re all invited. Save the date.

  87. In the year 2525… Excellent. My RSVP in advance. I’ll be the bitch with three canes and a bad attitude.
    It better not be cash bar.

  88. I think it’s a really great to plan a once a year and annual event for the class, to raise money for project graduation or ANY reason. Getting to know your kids friends and parents makes a LOT of sense. Why would ANYONE would be against this ? Those who aren’t interested in participating, don’t go. But to knock down the folks who get it done, who plan ahead, who WANT to get to know these other kids and families, why do that? I’m feeling too much negativity for a weeknight – and why be so negative? I am loving the charity ideas by the way… Awesome suggestions. Now who is going to make it happen? Keep up the great work and your terrific ideas coming Laura. You have your mind and heart in the right place.

  89. hrppgggppr, There was a True Life where this girl got her daddy to spend maybe $2000 a month for her to go to NYC, not make it as an actress, buy clothes, and get a $500 electricity bill. She was probably in her 20’s and I’m sad they were still supporting her.
    And Laura – If I had a group of mom’s raising money so my friends and I could have a crazy graduation trip to the Bahamas (because if you’re fund raising for 8 years I believe that’s where everyone would be able to go) I would not be complaining. So I’d say good job for you guys, and your kids are lucky.

  90. Katie, I have two words for you, and they will probably take you quite far if you remember them and learn from them in the best possible way: “Lorelei Lee.”

  93. “I could have had a fit but decided to just get her the hell out of there and not have anything to do with the school again. Second kid is in Glenfield, though Mt. Hebron is a half a block from my house.”
    Susan, I photograph a lot of Bar Mitzvah parties all over the tri-state area. And not a few that are heavily populated with Glenfield Students (which include friends of all cultures, besides the celebrant’s).
    Without exception, the worst one I ever saw as far as inappropriate behaviour was Glenfield students. As was the second worst.
    It’s a mistake to judge an entire population/culture/school by one party, or one experience (or even, two)…in my opinion.

  94. It is amazing how some of you JUST DON’T GET IT! Project Graduation in itself is a great idea – a final celebration with people you have spent the last 12 years with. A final farewell before taking off into the next phase of your life. What most people are objecting to here is not the parties, but rather the over indulgence of it all. The extravagant games, prizes, the Disney-type props and decorations., the amount of money that needs to be raised to fund all of these unnecessary extras. $50,000 for a party for approximately 100-125 people is a bit much – don’t you think? They graduated High School – they didn’t discover the cure for cancer. And finally, this money is raised through the hard work of the parents while the kids themselves are off to the movies or a party with their friends. Yea, let’s spoil them some more – and then complain that this is the “all about me” generation.

  96. Christine,
    Thanks for the kind words. It’s refreshing to hear something other than criticism. It’s also nice to see a poster not afraid to attach their name to their comments!

  97. exactly. No one here objects to the idea of this party. It’s the fact that this town of very wealthy people is spending their considerable organizing effort to raise a lot of money for a PARTY for a bunch of pamepered rich kids. Why are they not using this same fundraising zeal to raise money for a worthy cause. Let the kids pay for thier own party with some of their own hard work. Oh wait, we ccouldn’t expect our little princes and princesses to actually lift a finger, can we?
    Hellooooo? Are you all brain dead in Glen Ridge?

  98. “Why would ANYONE be against this?”
    Nobody is against it, the way one might be against, say, the war in Iraq or abortion. What you’re really asking, I think, is: Why aren’t people universally jumping up and down with enthusiasm at the idea? The reason I’m not jumping up and down is because it seems to be just one more instance of parents being overly involved in their kids’ lives, constructing elaborate and well-regulated childhoods. It’s the play-date syndrome, in which so much of kids’ lives are orchestrated by well-meaning parents, taken to the nth degree. Parents who do this tend to drive Mrs. Walleroo and me crazy with money-raising drives and plans and parties and so forth. Whereas we’re really just trying to simplify our lives, make them a little less hectic, and find more time to spend with our children now rather than in 2014, these over-invested parents seem to want to do the opposite.
    Plus you guys are kind of easy to make fun of. Surely you can see some humor in planning for a party in 20-friggin-14, can’t you? (Not that you care, but if you laughed at yourselves I’d like you more.)
    But please don’t take harshly. I for one don’t think you’re nearly as evil as Saddam Hussein, Steve Plofker or ROC. Not even close.

  99. Daniella,
    Your posting is so ridiculous. Who are you to stereotype the children of Glen Ridge as “pampered rich kids” or “princes and princesses” Glen Ridge is a diverse town with many great children and parents. As a matter of fact, the children in my neighborhood hosted a streetwide garage sale over the summer and donated all $2000 of the profits to the victims of Hurricane Katrina.
    Discussion Over!

  100. Yanno, I don’t remember my mom and dad being hit up for cash so much when my brothers and I were in school.
    Yes, there was the occasional school outing to the zoo or a play which required a little extra cash for transportation, souvenirs and such, but I honestly don’t remember ANY lavish parties, in grammar school, junior high or high school. I really don’t see the point of all this.
    Why don’t conerend parties just put some $$$ into an interest-bearing account or mutual fund and have people contribute voluntarily over the years? Surely by 2014, you’d have a nice nest egg to do with whatever you please. And there’d be no pressure put on anyone who didn’t want to contribute. Just my 2 cents.

  102. Question: If our parents are “The Greatest Generation” and we are Boomers, and the collegians are Gen-X’ers, what then shall we call this new breed?

  104. Laura,
    You wrote the following:
    Glen Ridge is a diverse town
    How is that? SUV styles?
    According to the latest census, Glen Ridge is 89% white, with a median income of $105, 638. The national median is 41, 994.
    Daniella hit a nerve with you, huh?

  105. Christine Campbell- Noone is knocking the parents who organize and work hard to make this a success. I am always one of those parents who pitches in. But I will not be involved in any way in PG when my turn comes if it is still this ridiculous overdone affair.
    And Laura you are right, Glen Ridge is a town full of great kids – no doubt, but it is also a town with many spolied kids, c’mon, you must admit that – just look around you.

  107. No one is saying that the only spoiled kids all live in GR! We are only saying that MANY are, and the over indulgence of such extreme things like the current PG are what is spoiling them! I understand your defensiveness, having started this whole thing – no one is trying to put you down for your efforts, only to make you see that it is just a bit much.

  109. What somehow got overlooked in the debate above, about, again, a party for bloody h.s. kids that costs more than many weddings, is that, no matter how much money is raised, they apparently still charge kids to attend the damn thing! I believe $5 was mentioned per head. That’s reasonable for an illicit kegger, sure, but why charge at all for something that already costs 25 gs? This one I still don’t get at all. Is it like a “facilities charge” when one buys concert tickets?

  110. when i bought my Cream tix at MSG, aside from the tix price there was a $10.95 convenience charge…for what me buying the tix online so i didn’t have to deal with a loser agent? I should get a 10 reduction for goin online…
    hrhppg…with 2 divorces on my belt i say let’s have all weddings at town hall and save the cash for the later settlement

  111. OK here is where I am coming from. There is a danger in constantly raising the bar for the handful of parents who actually do all this stuff. I should know, because I am one of them. Each time that somebody “goes that extra mile”, really pulls out all the stops, and brings an event to a whole new level, you have now created a new tradition and raised the expectations of the kids and the rest of the school community. This level may be maintained, until someone else decides to “do a little more” and before you know it what was simple and fun and manageable is now Britney Spear’s wedding. Once you create the precedent that parents are supposed to start raising money for a HS graduation party in 4th grade, the presssure is on everyone to contribute and participate, because if they don’t they aren’t being “supportive” they are being “negative”. You know what I am talking about. It is pressure. I frankly don’t like to be pressured to do things that I don’t believe in, and thankfully for me (and you Laura) my children are not in Glen Ridge schools.
    If this is really about the haves and havenots, just have a ticket price range–with families paying what they can afford $20-150 and release the Moms from indentured fundraising servitude.
    Can someone please help me out, this PG is sounding a helluva lot like a prom. Are they doing both? And if yes, why??? Do 17 year olds really need 2 expensive and tacky dinner dances in one year?

  113. Laura Buchmann said:
    “Daniella,
    Your posting is so ridiculous. Who are you to stereotype the children of Glen Ridge as “pampered rich kids” or “princes and princesses” Glen Ridge is a diverse town with many great children and parents. As a matter of fact, the children in my neighborhood hosted a streetwide garage sale over the summer and donated all $2000 of the profits to the victims of Hurricane Katrina.
    Discussion Over!”
    Ok, hold it right there, Glen Ridge is not a diverse town, sorry but Glen Ridge is as homogeneous as you can get!Second of all Daniella’s got her facts straight, I go to GRHS and yes I hate to admit it but a majority of the students are pampered. So the children in your neighborhood donated $2,000 to hurricane Katrina victims, why not donate $50,000 to Hurricane Katrina victims and raise $2,000 for project graduation? Or how about for every dollar you raise for project graduation you give twice as much to hurricaine victims? A big fancy party with hotdog makers and cotton candy machines is the last thing exiting seniors want. Personally, as soon as I graduate I hope to never see most of my class ever again. I have a question for you Laura, did you initiate this fundraiser or did you daughter? Because if she didn’t, I think you seriously need to rethink this whole operation. As a teenage girl and daughter, I can tell you that if my mother started a whole campaign/fundraiser for Project Graduation, I would feel she was saying to me, “I’m here to serve you” And as much as I’d like my own personal servant, I respect my mother and my father enough to know that’s not the sole purpose of a parent.The fact of the matter is,a $50 thousand dollar party will not prevent your child from drinking, it will not bring about closure on high school, mostly it’s just a waste of time and money.
    -Margot

  117. My “reality check,” walleroo, is that were I holding a party that cost $25,000, let alone $50,000, the drinking and dining alone would go on for weeks and weeks. Even were it solely attended by the reprobates with whom I grew up. You can probably serve franks and cotton candy to the entire remaining population of New Orleans for months off that kind of money.

  118. …with 2 divorces on my belt i say let’s have all weddings at town hall and save the cash for the later settlement
    Ice, I worry about you, dude.

  119. thanks for the concern, daniella, but as a left-over from the hippie days, i got my groove back.

  120. Margot–Bless you my child! It brings tears to a mother’s eyes that there is a teen out there who acknowledges that Mom is not a servant or personal assistant. I am buoyant and hopeful for the future. Thank you.

  121. “weeks and weeks…”
    For that money we could probably move to Mexico and make it years and years. Let’s go! You ride the bike, I’ll ride in the sidecar.

  122. That really was an eloquent rebuttal, Margot. I’m all admiration. It’s good to know that at least some kids don’t go for all that extraneous crap.

  123. Well, Laura B, do you ever get nosebleeds, standing on your pedestal? (“It’s also nice to see a poster not afraid to attach their name to their comments!”) I used to used to “attach my name” to my comments on baristanet, too, until some stalker type decided to email me relentlessly… so, can the holier than thou routine.
    I have particularly enjoyed Daniella’s and Margot’s comments on this topic. Who do you think you are to tell Daneiella “discussion over!” and call her comments ridiculous? The only thing here that’s ridiculous is adults actually obsessing about a project graduation party for the year 2014. Let the kids raise their own money for the party – there’s plenty of time for that once they’re in high school.

  124. A piece my mind for all who want to bash this PG, fundraising, party thing: Don’t go, don’t contribute and shut up.
    For the rest of the world who like to socialize, be involved and celebrate events–see you there!

  125. JK
    Things that I find ridiculous:
    Some of Daniella’s comments.
    Margo’s comments that if her mother were to participate in a fundraiser for her grade, she would consider her a “servant”.
    The incredibly negative and whiny tone of most people complaining about a high school graduation party.
    People thinking that mothers obsess over a party eight years away – don’t worry nobody’s obsessing other than, seemingly, baristaville posters.
    Other people telling me what to donate money on.
    Assumptions that every kid (in Glen Ridge? Baristaville? all of tri-state area?) is spoiled and over-indulged. Sure, there are some, but most that I know are polite and well brought up and certainly taught not to make sweeping generalizations about their neighbors based on very little fact.
    It’s fundraising for Project Graduation – if you don’t want to be involved, DON’T.
    BTW, Cathar, the five bucks I believe was for the MTC PG. The subject of everybody’s moral indignation is the Glen Ridge project graduation. I don’t know if any kids have to pay.

  127. Actually, Masha (do you have sisters? and are they always yammering on about moving to Moscow someday?), I think the “indignation” includes both Montclair and Glen Ridge. Even if the $5 charge for cotton candy applies only in Montclair. $25-50,000 will always strike me as a wild sum to blow on high school kids, whichever town they hail from.
    Walleroo, you spring for the chopper (mine was sold more than 20 years ago, a ’54 panhead I’d bought virtually cherry from its original owner), I will rig up the sidecar. And we will probably resemble Wallace and Gromit in “A Grand Day Out” somehow, but we will indeed flee this burg for cheap tequila, cheaper bottled waters and chicken mole. (Mole-ay, as in ole!)
    Soon as we get there, of course, we shall send for our respective families.

  128. And we wonder how the madness evolves. Here are the “support groups” meeting this week (from the
    Montclair Times):
    -Lawyers with Children Network
    -Mocha Moms Inc.: Support group for at-home moms of color
    -M.O.M.I.E (Moms of Multiples in Essex)
    -MOMS (Moms Offering Moms Support)
    -Montclair Parents of Multiples
    -Mothers & More: Supporting mothers in transition from employment to staying home with children.
    -Mothers Unfolding: Postpartum circle for new mothers & babies.
    I propose a new one, something along the lines of Mothers-Who-Are-Planning-A-Party-Eight-Years-in-Advance-and-Can’t-Figure-Out-Why-Other-People-Think-They’re-Nuts.
    For lack of a clever anacronym, I will simply call it “Insanity.” Apparently it meets and defends itself on a frighteningly regular basis.

  129. cathar, can i meet you and walleroo at the great notch inn for a proper send off…a couple of drafts and shots of Fleischmans…um, um good

  130. Iceman, I think we should get together even before then. Anyway, aren’t we supposed to?
    And if Fleischmann’s is your fave rye, so be it. I have always had a taste myself for the now even harder-to-find Guckenheimer’s. But you have to drop the filled shotglass down into your beer, as they did in the old days. That is a true boilermaker (which was the name for Garfield’s h.s. athletic teams, interestingly).

  131. I find the statement that project graduation raises funds within the class and not within the community to be confusing. For many years, I have supported Project Graduation when the seniors came to my door and asked for support in various forms. In my experience, the Project Graduation fundraisers have been targeted at the whole community, and not just the senior class.
    I believe that the parents of the classes of 2013 and 2014 are being a bit short-sighted here. Instead of donating a little to the current graduating classes, they would like to start a fund for their kid’s class. Taken to the extreme, if this takes off, then there will be 14 Project Graduations doing fundraisers in any given year. Each parent will contribute to their own child’s fund.
    Basically, if the parents from the classes of 2013 annd 2014 succeed in their current goal, they are guaranteeing that they will not have community support in their child’s senior year because they are setting the precedent that it is each class for itself. I think they are hurting their own fundraising efforts.
    My bottom line is that I will support Project Graduation for the current graduating class. I have made a note to myself that 2013 and 2014 are going it alone and do not need or want the communities support.

  132. Interesting analysis, CT 085. (I wonder what the CT stands for?… oh, never mind.) I’ve solved the problem by drawing up a schedule of payments to the various fundraising efforts. On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, I will contribute to funds for parties being planned for odd years. On Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, I’ll donate to the even years. I won’t contribute to any fund for a party that isn’t planned at least ten years in advance–I believe the children should be taught a lesson never to leave things until the last minute. On Sundays, I’ll contribute only to weddings, funerals and bar-mitvahs. Mazeltov!

  133. Lawyers with Children Network
    -Mocha Moms Inc.: Support group for at-home moms of color
    -M.O.M.I.E (Moms of Multiples in Essex)
    -MOMS (Moms Offering Moms Support)
    -Montclair Parents of Multiples
    -Mothers & More: Supporting mothers in transition from employment to staying home with children.
    -Mothers Unfolding: Postpartum circle for new mothers & babies.
    My Gawd! This reads like something out of The Onion!

  134. My question is this: If you donate now while your child is in 5th grade and you move away when he/she is in the 10th grade to you get your money back? I mean won’t you have to put money towards another Project Graduation?
    As a former Home & School president I can tell you that we do too much fundraising and often times sit around looking for ways to spend the money we earned. If planning ahead makes life easier wait untill the kids are in the 11th grade. I honestly think that spending 50,000.00 on a party is way too much money. There are people in this town – believe it or not – who make less then this. Have a party but scale back – do you really need a replica of the Eiffel Tower or Golden Gate Bridge to celebrate your kids high school graduation? Hey you still have to pay for college!

  135. Spending $50,000 on a party for the seniors is stupid (but I don’t think that is the number, believe it is about half that – and still stupid).
    Fundraising for that party 10 years ahead of time is just selfish. The upside is that since they will make it harder for the official Project Graduation parents to raise money, the whole event will start to be scaled down.
    In 10 years will it still exist?

  136. Laura, Congratulations on an interesting new approach to fund Project Graduation. I’m sorry that you’ve been subjected to taunts and criticisms. You propose a new funding approach to PG. Does a family spend $X each year for 8 years or just write the check for $Y during the year they graduate? Since we are all “pampered, spoiled, rich people” in Glen Ridge, we will come up with whatever money we have to in the year we have to for our graduating senior. I thought you offered a more financially viable approach to those of us who aren’t “pampered spoiled and rich”. Of course, we could open a separate savings account for PG, but most of us can barely put it away for college. And obviously no one is consciously thinking about PG for 4th graders – my 2014 kid can’t remember to bring his coat home on warm days! But it’s a new approach to funding something that WILL happen, whether the kids want it or not, whether they participate or not, because we all know without it, more of them will go off on their own to “celebrate” and potentially drink and drive and more. I think it’s been proven time and time again that the concept of Project Graduation offers a safer alternative. If you have the energy to throw a party and can legally “bank” the proceeds for 2014, go for it. I’ll still buy the chili for this year’s graduating class just like I buy the oranges for the band and the cookies for the Girl Scouts.

  137. i think this PG idea could go both ways–it is a nice idea to think ahead, maybe raise a few here & there, ok whatever. but also, it could be considered a little obsessive, as it’s a long way away.
    but this isn’t the issue that i was most struck by reading all these…every1 is just using this post to bash each other and basically GR. if you have a problem w/ GR, then move or do something constructive about it instead of crying & complaining online. if you have a huge problem w/ PG like margot..then dont go. margot, why are you so negative to your school, you seem to really hate it and complain about every1 that goes there. i’m sorry but you’re nowhere near above everyone there to judge and bash.
    thanks.

  138. We could also all agree to disagree.
    As PG gets closer maybe we could together figure out the RIGHT plan for a NEW kind of project graduation event.
    I think we all agree it’s time to review what our kids really need and want from PG.

  139. We could also all agree to disagree.
    As PG gets closer maybe we could together figure out the RIGHT plan for a NEW kind of project graduation event.
    I think we all agree it’s time to review what our kids really need and want from PG.

  140. Ew: “Why are you so negative about your school?”
    That’s a valid question, and I have a valid answer, I hate or perhaps strongly dislike is a better word my school, because many students there are bland and uninteresting to me. Students in Glen Ridge are often disrespectful, and oblivious to a world outisde of GR. And finally, I strongly dislkie Glen Ridge, because many people here are not willing to accept that Glen Ridge has many problems, whether drinking, bullying or harrasing, many people especially in power are not willing to admit this. Thank You.
    -Margot

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