Is There A Gay-Friendly Doctor In The House?

Friday, Jan 04, 2008 3:22pm  |  COMMENTS (39)

Help a reader from Bloomfield find the perfect medical match:

I’m 25 and hadn’t been to a doctor since my pediatrician when I was 21. I finally have a “real” job and real insurance, and figured now that I am an adult should start checking up on my health more pro-actively.

To make a long story short, I went to a doctor in South Orange yesterday and was treated terribly by her. I got the feeling it was because I was gay (her attitude became even more demeaning when I requested an HIV test). I have never experienced this before, let alone from a female or an educated person like a doctor. Going to the doctor is unpleasant enough, and I left that office physically upset yesterday with no answers to any of my health concerns and just being told to come back another time for blood work. I am never going to return to that awful place.

Now I have even more anxiety about seeing a new doctor, what if this happens again. I’m hoping you know of or could help me find a gay or gay-friendly doctor in the area. I live in Bloomfield and have Oxford insurance, but would go out of network for the right doctor. I know of some in the city but would prefer my doctor to be closer to home. Thanks for your help.

39 Comments

  1. POSTED BY Brinew2  |  January 04, 2008 @ 3:29 pm

    When I was a kid I was treated by a Christian Fundamentalist, which is probably what that doctor was. Next time look for clues, like that f****** fish symbol on the cars or fundie magazines. Christians Fundies are nasty, but there are clues.

  2. POSTED BY Pork Roll  |  January 04, 2008 @ 3:41 pm

    You might want to start by typing “gay-friendly doctors” into Google, which is what I just did. It came back with a bunch of pages containing advice on doing just that (finding a gay-friendly doctor), including a directory on GayHealth.com that list doctors who have indicated they are gay-friendly. I scanned that list and the closest one I found to Baristaville is Steven Belt, MD in West Orange (but he doesn’t participate in Oxford, but that info could be obsolete; you’d want to check with the doc himself).
    Let your fingers do the walking to unleash the power of the Internet!

  3. POSTED BY Binarycool  |  January 04, 2008 @ 3:46 pm

    i’ve tried all those sites and came back with nothing.. very few people listed in any of them, at least in nj anyway. and the ones that are are weird types of docs and sepcialists. i just need a regular old doctor.
    if my pediatrician didn’t pass away i’d still be going to him like my other 20-something cousins do lol. dr. jack adessa in bloomfield was an amazing man. RIP

  4. POSTED BY Miss Martta  |  January 04, 2008 @ 3:46 pm

    That doctor you went to sounds very unprofessional. I’d say report her to the AMA. That being said, I hope you find someone else who will treat you with the dignity you deserve.

  5. POSTED BY BostonScott  |  January 04, 2008 @ 3:54 pm

    I’m looking for a Guy-Friendly Female Doctor.
    I too am really uncomfortable at the Dr’s and if a complete stranger is handling my junk, I at least prefur it to be a female.

  6. POSTED BY I'm ME  |  January 04, 2008 @ 4:18 pm

    There is a group in NJ called Garden State Equality, and I’m betting that via their web site or a phone call you can find a list of gay-friendly practitioners in northern NJ. Your other option would be to contact one of the many GLBT organizations in NYC and ask if they have NJ referrals.
    It’s 2008 and APPALLING to me that you have to ask this question and that you have to deal with morons like those who have already posted. I do agree with the poster above who said you should report the S. Orange doctor to the AMA. Please do so IMMEDIATELY.

  7. POSTED BY Pork Roll  |  January 04, 2008 @ 4:18 pm

    Well, Binary, perhaps what you should do instead is:
    - Ask friends, colleagues, whomever for the names of any doctors whom they feel comfortable with and would recommend based on their own personal experience (which is what you are kind of doing now, I know).
    - Once you have a few names, make a consultation appointment with each doctor to speak with them for a few minutes, explaining what you are looking for and evaluating their responses. This might cost some money, but perhaps if you explain you are looking for a new primary, they might not charge you.
    -Then go with the one you feel most comfortable with.
    You might also want to look at sites that provide ratings and feedback on specific doctors in general, to find one that is highly regarded by the community. As the folks above have noted, it’s really a matter of professionalism.
    —————-
    Personally, I have been seeing Dr. Jeffrey Gold of Broad Street Medical Associates on Broad St in Clifton for many years, that is, when I actually go to the doctor (he has this annoying habit of nagging me about my high cholesterol). I have been quite satisfied with him, finding him to be competent, professional, and responsive (as much as a busy doctor these days can be, I suppose). The corridor leading to the exam rooms in his office are lined with framed covers of NJ Monthly or some other magazine attesting to his recognition as one of the “100 Best Doctors” in NJ or something like that. Because he is a busy and popular guy, I often go to see the Nurse Practitioner in his office, Nancy Gallagher, whom I’ve found to be competent and professional as well. His office used to participate in Oxford when I was in that plan a few years ago, but I’m not sure if they still are since I’m not with Oxford anymore.

  8. POSTED BY delicious dish  |  January 04, 2008 @ 4:37 pm

    Binarycool-
    My pediatrician was Jack Adessa as well! He was an excellent doctor. May I suggest Dr. Edward Krupp in Montclair (29 The Crescent, to be exact)
    I don’t think he is gay but he is an amazing doctor. Very thorough, friendly and lets you ask as many questions as needed.
    There will never be another Jack but Ed Krupp, MD is pretty close. Call him and ask if he accepts Oxford… I have Blue Cross so I’m not sure.

  9. POSTED BY Jessica  |  January 04, 2008 @ 4:40 pm

    I’ve been going to Dr. Henry Lowenthal for about 20 years. He is wonderful. He is not gay, but I’m sure would treat you with dignity and respect. His number is 973-748-9246.

  10. POSTED BY delicious dish  |  January 04, 2008 @ 4:48 pm

    Binarycool, I am not going to wax poetic about Krupp too much. I just feel like he’d be a really good bet for you. call! call!
    I also have 20-something siblings that went to Adessa before he passed. :)

  11. POSTED BY Cheese_with_your_wine?  |  January 04, 2008 @ 4:59 pm

    Dr. Krupp IS in the Oxford system. I also second that he is a great doctor, he might not be accepting new patients however. Still worth checking.

  12. POSTED BY walleroo  |  January 04, 2008 @ 5:00 pm

    Try Verona Medical Associates (973-239-2600). They’ all gay–it’s like La Cage Aux Folles in there! Just kidding. Seriously, just because you got one jerk doesn’t mean they’re all like that. Good luck.

  13. POSTED BY Curious George  |  January 04, 2008 @ 5:21 pm

    Call University Hospital Ob/GYN. I know for a fact they had a practice specifically for gay patients. Dr. Pompeo was the Attending. I don’t know if they still have it. As a woman who choose not to have children, I know what it’s like to be treated like a 2nd class citizen because of your choices. After making me wait over 3 hours in the waiting room, she promptly told me I was too fat when she couldn’t do a proper pelvic. My husband thought I had gotten some horrible news when I come home in tears. I never went back again.

  14. POSTED BY Grove-r  |  January 04, 2008 @ 5:58 pm

    My bf and I also see Dr. Krupp and can attest to his awesomeness. We seem to get everyone we know going to him too, and they love him as well! He’s very thorough and personable and geniunely cares. He does take Oxford, since that’s what we have.

  15. POSTED BY robbeyond  |  January 04, 2008 @ 6:05 pm

    try dr. sylvia coscia in little falls, she is the most amazing doctor in the area, she is so friendly and thorough – you will have to wait in her office for a while but when you meet her you will know why – i believe she also accepts oxford – you WILL NOT be dissapointed

  16. POSTED BY Gigi33  |  January 04, 2008 @ 6:17 pm

    I’m another Dr. Krupp fan. He is an excellent doctor.

  17. POSTED BY Pork Roll  |  January 04, 2008 @ 6:21 pm

    Wow, with all these glowing recommendations, maybe *I* should start thinking about changing *my* doctor!
    At the very least, I’m going to take down some of these names in case my current doc ever drops out of my plan…

  18. POSTED BY Miss Martta  |  January 04, 2008 @ 6:29 pm

    LOL…same here. I currently don’t have a GP since mine’s retired but it’s good to know there’s some good ones out there/

  19. POSTED BY Mary  |  January 04, 2008 @ 7:07 pm

    Naomi Grobstein at Family Health Center in Montclair.973-744-8511. I have Oxford, they accept it. Try to get her, but she is much in demand so it might be hard. She’s great, there is no way she would mistreat anyone- and frankly, what happened to you is disturbing and I am really sorry. I suspect she would find it interesting to hear what happened to you, as well. Good physicians should hear these stories and know what is happening.

  20. POSTED BY ridger82  |  January 04, 2008 @ 7:08 pm

    before everybody starts getting all misty eyed and reporting doctors to the AMA, I would want a little better description of what constitutes ‘terrible treatment’ She wasn’t wearing a rainbow scarf? She was beating you with a stick?

  21. POSTED BY ridger82  |  January 04, 2008 @ 7:08 pm

    before everybody starts getting all misty eyed and reporting doctors to the AMA, I would want a little better description of what constitutes ‘terrible treatment’ She wasn’t wearing a rainbow scarf? She was beating you with a stick?

  22. POSTED BY Jim  |  January 04, 2008 @ 7:25 pm

    I would call your customer service number at Oxford. The last thing the healthcare company wants is a customer who claims their network doctors discriminate against sexuality designation. I’m sure if you call two things will happen: the doctor you visited will be reprimanded and/or dropped from the network, and you will receive a list of doctors in-network who may have specialties in gay sexuality medical issues and treatments.

  23. POSTED BY gia  |  January 04, 2008 @ 7:36 pm

    I also like Dr Grobstein (and Dr Ramos) at the same practice. I would think this person has some gay friends and could ask for a recommendation.

  24. POSTED BY Mary  |  January 04, 2008 @ 7:42 pm

    hey- lets be careful not be hard on the person who asked for help. (i know its fair game on baristanet) aka misty eyed comment, although i am sure that wasn’t meant to be harsh. this person is 25 and wanted some recs. end of story. lets send some recs and hope there is another appointment. it isn’t the easiest thing to go to doctors appointments for many.

  25. POSTED BY Butchcjg  |  January 04, 2008 @ 10:03 pm

    I’ve been going to all the doctor’s in Grobstein’s office (Ramos, Young, Grobstein and Hostetler) and have found them all very gay and lesbian friendly! Feel free to email me if you want more info

  26. POSTED BY Anne Prince  |  January 04, 2008 @ 11:11 pm

    I concur with Dr. Grobstein in Montclair. I live in Bloomfield and my beloved IM stopped practicing and friends recommended Dr. Grobstein to me and I have been extremely satisfied with her and her practice.

  27. POSTED BY nance  |  January 05, 2008 @ 12:35 am

    2008 and i can’t believe this stuff is still going on. sorry to hear of your experience and hope all these names will help. i’ve had my share of poor docs (even abusive) over the years but those who were once considered “gods” appear to be lower than human. report her – she should be doing research in a lab somewhere, not working with real people.
    hope your next experience restores your faith in the good docs out there.
    hugs!

  28. POSTED BY Binarycool  |  January 05, 2008 @ 4:02 am

    thanks for all your help.
    how funny, i just came back from a good friend of mine and she recommended dr grobstein as well so i think i will be trying to make an appointment with her asap!
    as for what happened at the other doctor, frankly its personal. im not reporting anyone to the AMA and i did not call this doctor out by name. i just wanted some recommendations and i thank you all for that.

  29. POSTED BY Bhmike  |  January 05, 2008 @ 9:34 am

    I have one more highly recommended suggestion:
    Dr. Jeffrey Gold
    Broad Street Medical Associates
    1135 Broad Street
    Clifton, NJ 07013
    973-471-8850
    He is kind, thorough and VERY gay friendly. My partner and myself were in the same boat several years ago and found Dr. Gold in one of those “Top Docs” in NJ surveys. Perhaps I’m a little bias, but this man (an Internist, not a Urologist) found a very early stage, barely detactable malignant prostate tumor on my partner (only 50 at the time) that ubdoubtedly saved his life. I say this because the Urologist was amazed that Dr. Gold detected this on his own.
    Anyway, my point is he’s great and if you give him a try tell him Michael and Anthony sent you!!

  30. POSTED BY Frankgg  |  January 05, 2008 @ 10:48 am

    A good doctor loves ALL people and uses his or her knowledge to heal and reduce suffering. I met my GOOD doctor one day last year while my daily multi-tasking included opening my car door into my face and almost loosing an eye.(on that particular day I was having difficulty implementing my “when you’re a marine you’re fine until you’re dead” motto)
    Now he has opened a family practice of internal medicine in Montclair and I can say that he is an excellent surgeon because he was able to put my face back in order and I have no scar whatsoever!
    Gregory Heifler M.D., P.A
    103 Park Street
    Carriage house
    Montclair
    973-783-4117

  31. POSTED BY Frankgg  |  January 05, 2008 @ 11:04 am

    A good doctor loves ALL people and uses his or her knowledge to heal and reduce suffering. I met my GOOD doctor one day last year while my daily multi-tasking included opening my car door into my face and almost loosing an eye.(on that particular day I was having difficulty implementing my “when you’re a marine you’re fine until you’re dead” motto)
    Now he has opened a family practice of internal medicine in Montclair and I can say that he is an excellent surgeon because he was able to put my face back in order and I have no scar whatsoever!
    Gregory Heifler M.D., P.A
    103 Park Street
    Carriage house
    Montclair
    973-783-4117

  32. POSTED BY Miss Martta  |  January 05, 2008 @ 11:09 am

    LOL, Frank. Your Marine quote reminded me of another:
    “To err is human; to forgive, divine. Neither of which is Marine policy.”

  33. POSTED BY Frankgg  |  January 05, 2008 @ 11:33 am

    Thanks Miss Marta!Thats funny as well as useful!

  34. POSTED BY Drob  |  January 05, 2008 @ 5:38 pm

    Someone else mentioned Dr. Steven Belt in West Orange. He was actually suggested to me by a gay friend who was very comfortable with him. He was a great doc, I just am not in that area any longer.
    I also hate to say this, because I hate adding to the competition for an appointment, but Dr. Krupp is hands down the best doctor I’ve ever been too. He is a young guy but a total throwback to the old school family doctor style. He’s also wickedly into explaining very little detail of what’s wrong with you — it’s an education every time.
    I bet you anything he’d be top notch professional with any patient.

  35. POSTED BY Frankgg  |  January 06, 2008 @ 1:08 am

    Thank you Drob thats fabolous….. and important to know.

  36. POSTED BY ackme  |  January 06, 2008 @ 11:02 am

    Eddie Krupp the MHS hockey goalie? Gordon cup champs – we rocked.
    All my memories of him include him being sweaty.

  37. POSTED BY wacourson  |  January 09, 2008 @ 10:26 am

    A competent, LGBT-friendly physician is a treasure to be prized. I have been with my physician, Michelle Nitti, (in Glen Ridge) since she was a family practrice resident, and she’s wonderful.
    Steer clear of any physician harboring Christian sympathies because- though they’ll likely deny it – you WILL get inferior care. As one earlier poster pointed out, there are signs …
    In any case, if you’re in need of a referral, try the National Gay & Lesbian Medical Association. The have a website and referral directory at http://www.glma.org
    good luck!

  38. POSTED BY State Street Pete  |  July 15, 2008 @ 12:29 am

    I can second Michelle Nitti as a great doctor.
    Gabrielle Nitti (MTC) is a great eye doctor.

  39. POSTED BY mkass  |  January 30, 2010 @ 8:50 am

    Thank you all for your comments … I have never had a DR I liked and I went to see Dr. Krupp in Montclair and I have to say I loved him and highly recommend him. M. Kass from Maplewood NJ

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