Teen's Top Ten List of Mind Boggling Grammy Wins

BY  |  Sunday, Jan 26, 2014 2:40pm  |  COMMENTS (1)

GrammysEli Zeger, a 15 year-old sophomore at Montclair High School, gives us some commentary on the Grammys.  

Receiving a Grammy is a milestone and dream for musicians everywhere.  In honor of one of the most magical nights in music, which air tonight at 8 pm , here are the ten most mind-boggling Grammy wins:

10.  Milli Vanilli – Best New Artist (1990):  Not only did Milli Vanilli sing about blaming all of their problems on the rain, but they didn’t sing at all (try guilting the rain for that).  Although they were later exempted of their award, a “Best Lip-Synching” Grammy would’ve been a better fit.

9.  “Here To Stay” by Korn – Best Metal Performance (2003):  Not even eligible metal artists Mastodon or Isis were considered for this 2003 award.  Instead, the Best Metal Performance went to a band that doesn’t even know how to spell their vegetables.

8.  A Taste Of Honey – Best New Artist (1979):  Apparently A Taste Of Honey, whose Boogie Oogie Oogie” occasionally plays on “golden oldies” radio, was a better a winner for Best New Artist than future Rock And Roll Hall Of Famer Elvis Costello.  By the way, Costello wasn’t so new in 1979; his hit “Alison” came out two years prior.

7.  Introducing The Hardline According To…Terence Trent D’Arby by Terence Trent D’Arby – Best R&B Vocal Performance (1989):  D’Arby is a soulful singer, but the forgotten 80’s star beat legendary contenders Teddy Pendergrass, Stevie Wonder, and Luther Vandross.

Speaking of snubbing great artists…

6.  Queen has never won a Grammy:  Neither have The Doors, Jimi Hendrix, Led Zeppelin, or Bob Marley.

5.  The Beach Boys – Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award (2001):  They rightfully deserved it, but – even over the course of their innovative decades-long career – this was their first Grammy ever.

4.  Bon Iver – Best New Artist (2012):  Even though his critically acclaimed For Emma, Forever Ago and his most popular song “Skinny Love” came out in 2009, the Recording Academy awarded him Best New Artist in 2012.  “Best New Artist Who The Recording Academy Has Just Discovered” would’ve probably been a more appropriate name for the 2012 award.

3.  Maroon 5 – Best New Artist (2005):  Bon Iver’s win was puzzling, but not as much as Maroon 5’s being awarded Best New Artist in 2005, considering the fact that their quadruple-platinum Songs About Jane came out in 2002.

2.  “Sailing” by Christopher Cross – Record Of The Year (1981):  According to the Grammys, Christopher Cross’ fluffy ballad about boating was a better recording than Frank Sinatra’s “Theme From New York, New York”.  Thankfully, this is the only case of The Yachtsman beating The Chairman Of The Board.

1.  Crest Of A Knave Jethro Tull – Best Hard Rock/Metal Performance (1989):  The Recording Academy picked Tull’s Crest Of A Knave over heavier albums by runner-ups Metallica, AC/DC, Jane’s Addiction, and Iggy Pop for the Grammy.  Why rock out to a brutal guitar solo when you can headbang to a flute?

Eli’s writing has appeared in publications such as The Huffington Post, The Montclair Times, CVLT Nation, and Scene Point Blank.  Check out his work at eztunefeed.tumblr.com.

1 Comments

  1. POSTED BY the Duke of Prunes  |  January 28, 2014 @ 11:31 pm

    Don’t forget ‘Toto IV’ for Album of the Year in 1983. BAD idea!

    Elvis Costello’s first album was released in the U.S. in March 1978, so he qualified for a 1979 Best new Artist Grammy.

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