April Fools!

BY  |  Wednesday, Apr 01, 2015 11:00am  |  COMMENTS (1)

April Fools!

All of our stories today were April Fools Day pranks. There isn’t an Easter snowstorm coming, the two Montclair education groups haven’t made friends, there won’t be a Playskool for grown-ups, and while Rocky the Horse is a favorite Montclair NEIGHbor—he didn’t do a profile for us.



Seen Around Town: Miley Cyrus Auditions in Montclair Today

BY  |  Tuesday, Apr 01, 2014 12:09pm  |  COMMENTS (4)

Miley Cyrus


Practice your twerking, stick out your tongue and go show off your best “Wrecking Ball” chops today in Montclair, because Miley Cyrus is holding auditions for her upcoming tour in Montclair today.

Auditions will happen at the former Rascal’s Comedy Club at 499 Bloomfield Avenue.



Baristanet Turns 10, Receives Proclamation

BY  |  Tuesday, Apr 01, 2014 12:08pm  |  COMMENTS (6)

baristanet 10


Baristanet, launched in 2004, turns 10 this year and Montclair is recognizing the hyperlocal website’s longevity with a proclamation.

“August 1st will now be known as Baristanet Day in Montclair,” says Deputy Mayor Robert Russo, who sponsored the proclamation along with Councilor Bill Hurlock.

“The town is trying to do a better job of communicating between the residents and the municipal government with regards to such things as suspension of services, parking restrictions and utilization of town parks for snow placement during the recent snow storms,” says Hurlock. “Baristanet has been a great partner in reaching residents with information, especially during Hurricane Sandy and other emergency situations.” Continue Reading

Montclair Planning Board Revisits Master Plan With Eye To The Past

BY  |  Tuesday, Apr 01, 2014 9:48am  |  COMMENTS (5)



Montclair’s first master plan, back in 1909, never came to fruition. Back then, Montclairions were amazed at the radical changes proposed by the Commission, and taxpayers were alarmed at the proposition to more than double the town’s debt at once and within a few years to more than quadruple it.

Last year, it was deja vu all over again, when Montclair once again experienced community backlash after releasing its 2013 Master Plan Draft. A movement to Save Upper Montclair from the proposed master plan and concerns that these recommendations would radically alter “village life.”

Continue Reading

Disturbing Doll Parts Found Around Baristaville

BY  |  Monday, Apr 01, 2013 3:30pm  |  COMMENTS (8)

dollsopenApril Fools!

Well Hello Dolly. She is back — and as funny as I thought this gag was at first — others do not seem to share my sense of humor when it comes to creepy doll parts in public places.

Edgemont Park

Edgemont Park

Over the last three weeks Baristanet and Barista Kids have been swamped various reports and photos from group(s) claiming credit for defacing public property with doll heads, legs and arms. Editor in Chief of Barista Kids Georgette Gilmore says, “”I knew when we discovered Holly and started the “Ask Holly” column, her quirky, crafty ideas would take off. To be honest, I wish her followers would have chosen her cute carrot or flower crafts, because I’m dealing with pissed off parents of freaked out children.”

So far we have reports of doll part sightings in: Edgemont Park, Presby Memorial Iris Gardens, Brookdale Park, the Glen Ridge post office and South Mountain reservation. Continue Reading

Le Sponge Brings Local, Wholesome Food to Former South Park St. Bar Location

BY  |  Monday, Apr 01, 2013 2:30pm  |  COMMENTS (7)

April Fools!

Spring has finally come to Baristaville, which means we have only a couple of months more to work on our beach bodies. For those of us who love to to go out to eat, but hate bringing home the calories, a new health bistro has opened up in the old Park St. Bar & Grill location.

bouch Le Sponge is a health-conscious French dinette that specializes in all local and organic cuisine. Owner, Carrie Ah-Frique, former student of both Jacques Pépin and Cousteau, is excited to open up his new eatery in Montclair.

“What this town is missing is a casual restaurant that serves wholesome and local cuisine” said Ah-Frique, who gets all of his ingredients from Whole Foods and CVS, both along Bloomfield Avenue. The menu is small, yet elegant, beginning with the Amuse-Bouche, pictured right. Continue Reading

Have You Seen Sheba and Roxanne?

BY  |  Monday, Apr 01, 2013 2:00pm  |  COMMENTS (2)

Have You Seen Sheba and Roxanne?

April Fools!

Baristanet reader Billy Simmons needs your help to find his two pet chickens — he’s even offering a reward.

Simmons, who calls himself “King of All Urban Homesteaders,” lost two of his hens near Glenwood Ave. in Upper Montclair. He’ll give two dozen of “the freshest, tastiest, antibiotic-free jumbo eggs you’ll ever have,” to whoever finds them.

Simmons thinks his 14-year old son accidentally left the gate to their free range play ground open, allowing the clucky gals — who answer to Sheba and Roxanne — to escape.

“Their eggs are amazing,” says Simmons who was a software developer in NYC, before trading his computer for an artisanal feedback. “I think it’s because I pamper them so much, Last month I installed a carousel in their playground and I just finished putting an air purifier in their coop.”

If you see Sheba and Roxanne, write pets at baristanet dot com.

Plenty of Oohs, Aahs and Unghhhs: A Seat At Downtown Montclair Bathroom Tour

BY  |  Monday, Apr 01, 2013 1:00pm  |  COMMENTS (12)

April Fools!

Taking notes from the success of this months Glen Ridge Kitchen Tour, the Montclair Center BID is giving locals another opportunity to experience the extravagance of downtown Montclair living in their first annual Downtown Montclair Bathroom Tour.

toilet2 “If you think that Glen Ridge is the place to be for opulence when you ‘gotta go,’ then you are in for a surprise and a treat,” said BID director, Jerri Freed. “You haven’t really gone if you haven’t gone on a Downtown Montclair toilet.”

Proceeds from the tour will be used to pave a special pickup lane for Hillside dads. Tourists will be taken through the bathrooms of various apartments along Bloomfield Avenue, some even with the consent of the renters. Continue Reading

Bloomfield: Memphis Needs You

Monday, Apr 01, 2013 11:30am  |  COMMENTS (17)

April Fools!


Bloomfield came out strong in its efforts to support Memphis, a lovable, misunderstood pitbull.

The world was watching when you freed Memphis. Then you saved him. Now you can help Memphis again. Continue Reading

Edgemont Dredging’s Dirty Secret?

BY  |  Monday, Apr 01, 2013 9:46am  |  COMMENTS (7)

edgemont dredge

April Fools!

Sure, the view of Edgemont Park right now isn’t so pretty, with all the dredging taking place as part of a six-month long project to build a new retaining wall around the pond. Still, there’s something else besides the water that’s missing.

Yep, it’s the geese. Montclair earned itself a place in the Canada Goose Hall of Shame once before, and since then, peace activists have implored the town to promote a serene coexistence between human residents and the Essex County Canada Goose population.

Back in 2007, GeesePeace admonished Montclair’s “efforts” to eliminate geese, when the director stated:

Stuffed coyotes don’t scare Canada geese. Geese that are plastic and that look like they’re dead don’t scare Canada geese. Scary-eye balloons don’t scare Canada geese.”

“Those are the types of things that Montclair did to get rid of the geese. That does not work. What works is taking the water away from the geese, making it very inhospitable.

That’s right. Taking the water away. Continue Reading

Featured Comment

Thank you Alma for sharing this with us. Go Lincoln! Go Asa! Dang, how did all this salt water get in my coffee?

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