Sharpen Your Pencils

The McGreevey resignation speech and the Olympics were distracting, but time kept on ticking anyway. If you want to put in a bid to be Montclair’s new image consultant (Montclair: Hip for a Bunch of Middle-Aged People) today’s the deadline.

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  1. As Montclair’s image consultant, I would suggest that Montclair be draped in maroon chiffon, trimmed with olive green lace. It will do wonders for her flowing raven hair and hazel eyes. Makeup should consist of plum tones, with careful attention to wrinkle cream smoothed on around her eyes to give her a more “hip” appearance.

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