Although Miss Martta has penned a pretty funny one:
RARE SIGHTING IN MONTCLAIR: A REPUBLICAN
October 28, 2004 – First came the deer in droves, then the coyotes, red foxes and wild turkeys. And now, according to one local resident, there has been at least one Republican sighting in Montclair.
Libby Rall, a resident of Walnut Street for 32 years, was taking out her trash last Wednesday when she saw the sign. “There it was, just two houses away from me, the telltale Bush/Cheney lawn sign,” she said. Peering closer at the house, she saw a man get out of an SUV adorned with a “Four More Years” bumper sticker.
“I saw him and I think he saw me,” she said. “But he scurried away so quickly, I didn’t get a really good look at him.”
Ms. Rall, who admitted she’s not sure how to act around a Republican, called town hall. “They didn’t have a clue, either,” she said.
A spokesperson for the township, who asked to remain anonymous, speculated on the sighting: “Republicans are attracted to rent hikes and higher taxes. The recent construction boom is also a factor. They’re usually harmless by themselves. It’s only when you see packs of them that you have to worry.”
Ms. Rall is not taking any chances, however. “I’m keeping the kids and pets inside the house for now,” she said.
The township is urging residents who’ve seen Republicans around town to call and report it.