New Jersey: Where The Men Have More Sex

Tell us boys — is it really true or just braggadocio? A poll has revealed that NJ men are getting more action than women. But the sex poll seems to be leaving experts scratching their heads and wondering how to do the math.

“Age-old images about sexual behavior continue to prevail in New Jersey,” said Patrick Murray, director of the Monmouth University Polling Institute. “But the results on gender-based differences in sexual activity do raise an interesting question: If men are indeed having sex more often than women in New Jersey, are they going out of state to do it?”

Maybe the men are just taking matters into their own hands…

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  1. I think the first line from that poll article explains it all
    “…but that difference could be exaggerated because women are less likely to answer the question. ”
    or at least answer it saying they have more sex.

  2. I am still trying to find out what the right question is. 🙂
    You don’t think that someone who was randomly called and asked about the frequency of his or her sex life might not tell the whole truth, do you?

  3. That whole issue of NJ Monthly was a waste of time! That’s one subscription that I’ll let go of in 2008.

  4. I think men and women are having the exact same amount of sex. Of course my basis of research is limited to myself and my wife.
    …at least I hope we’re having the same amount. :/

  5. Joke:
    Young couple with kids devise a code word stategy to invite each other to bed.
    They call it doing the laundry.
    One night the husband asks the wife if she’d like to do some ‘laundry’.
    She says definately. He goes upstairs and waits, and waits, and waits. Finally, tired of waiting, he takes care of business.
    The wife finally arrives and notices his obvious lack of ardor. She asks him “I thought you wanted to do laundry”. He says “That’s ok, it was a small load so I did it myself”.

  6. An Irishman arrives home from work to find his wife packing her bags.
    “Where are ye goin’?”, he asks her.
    “I’m off to Las Vegas”, she replies. “At least there, I’ll be paid money for what I’m doing for you, for free. Women there get $100 for sex.”
    Some minutes later, she finds him also packing a bag.
    “And what are you doing?”, she demands.
    “I’m comin wid ya”, he says. “I want to see how you’re going to live on $200 a year!”

  7. I didn’t see any questions about the number of partners. Maybe a few fun loving ladies are picking up the slack for the others, so to speak.
    NJ’s new state motto can be “Where so few do so much for so many.” or “New Jersey and you. And you. And you.”

  8. per Rodney Dangerfield:
    I thought my wife was getting romantic.
    She calls me up and says, “why don’t you stop by, there’s noboby home”.
    So I go there and there’s nobody home.

  9. Rodney:
    My wife says to me, I want an exciting evening for a change, I’m gonna tie you to the bed.
    I thought “whoa hoa”. So she ties me to the bed and then she leaves the house!

  10. Rodney —
    I told my father that I was tired of running around in circles. So he nailed my other foot to the floor.

  11. I don’t think woman have the sex drive that man do. Man has testosterone, a very mysterious and potent chemical. It can magically transform Man into a wide-eyed creature. Mix this supreme chemical with those emanating from avenues, petroleum plants and consumer items. Mix all these chemicals and you have strange creatures lurking in rest rooms, lingerie aisles and peep houses. It is a beautiful voodoo, creating odd statistics, and sexually controlling them too!

  12. I told my doctor that I was worried because my skin was turning yellow.
    He told me to wear a brown tie.

  13. R
    I grew up in a real rough neighborhood. Boy was it rough. One day I went to buy a water bed. There was a guy at the bottom of it.

  14. R: I went to doctor and he told me I was crazy. I told him that I wanted a second opinion. He said, “OK, you’re ugly, too.”

  15. R
    I tell ya, I got no luck with women. I tried going out on a blind date. I’m standing on the corner for two hours. This woman walks by. I say “Are you Sheila?” She says “Are you Rodney?” I say “yeah”. She says, “I’m not Sheila”.

  16. I tell ya, I can’t relax because of the kids. I told my kid, someday you’ll have kids of your own. He said so will you.

  17. My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.

  18. “My wife likes to talk to me during sex. Just the other night she called me from the hotel.”
    ~R. Dangerfield

  19. Let’s not forget one other skewer of statistics:
    Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
    Woody Allen

  20. Great thread! I miss Rodney, too. Even though the humor is blatant, politically incorrect, and older than the Catskills, it still brings a smile. Woody had some good lines, too. After leaving the Orgasmatron in a delirious state someone says: “Oh, you poor man! You haven’t had sex in 200 years.” To which he replies, “220, if you count my marriage.” Badda boom.

  21. I tell ya, I got no luck with women. In bed, I asked one girl if she’d hate herself in the morning. She said, “I hate myself now.”

  22. Many great recollections of Rodney Dangerfield above. The man (or his writers) was funny. But the original NJM story is just a half-grasped, masturbatory rattle of desperation. A celebration of a slow news month, sort of. So of course, albeit some weeks after the issue’s mailing to subscribers, it caught the eye of the Baristas.

  23. A young, inexperienced virgin and her boyfriend are getting married in a week. She tells him that she is nervous about satisfying him in bed after the wedding and feels shy about initiating sex. “Let’s make up a code for what you want”, he tells her. “If you want to have sex, pull my penis once. If you don’t want to have sex, pull it 100 times”.

  24. What a morning I had! I put on my shirt and a button popped off. I grabbed a cup of coffee and the cup broke off. I picked up my briefcase to leave and the handle fell off!
    I tell ya, I was afraid to go to the bathroom!
    Sir R

  25. If you are not having any luck having sex and are not married my advice to you is get online, Match, JDate what ever, get to work to get it on, my experience in the last year and a half is that NJ women at least in me age group 50+ want to get it on! NO JOKE. I am talking about mature, responsible, fun loving, vibrant, hot women…there is nothing like a JERSEY GIRL (WOMAN).

  26. I just want to point out, Liz, that I did not make a single tasteless joke directed at you this entire thread, despite your own solicitous behavior.

  27. I just want to point out, Liz, that I did not make a single tasteless joke directed at you this entire thread, despite your own solicitous behavior.
    Of course, I was disappointed.

  28. One time, when I was a kid, my family played hide-and-seek. They found my mother in Pittsburgh. In my life, I’ve been through plenty. When I was three years old, my parents got a dog. I was jealous of the dog, so they got rid of me. My ol’ man took me to a freak show. They said, “Get the kid out of here. He’s distracting from the show.”
    Rodney Dangerfield

  29. Walleroo, to borrow from Eric Ambler, I’m sure that your entire existence, let alone the amative substance of your posts, is one long dirty story.

  30. R
    I tell ya, it all goes back to my childhood.
    My uncle’s dying wish was that I sit in his lap.
    He was in the electric chair.

  31. Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, “Ya know, I reckon I’m ’bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I’m gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go.
    Three years ago, you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earlene got pregnant. Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earlene got pregnant again. Last year, you suggested Tahiti and darned if she didn’t get pregnant again!”
    Luther asks Billy Bob, “So, what you gonna do this year that’s different?”
    Billy Bob says, “THIS YEAR SHE’S GOIN’ WITH ME!!”

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