Is Your Bed a No Kid Zone?

familybed.jpg There seem to be two types of parents: those who let their children come into their bed at night and those who don’t.
I’m not talking about co-sleeping, although that definitely sets the tone of the family. I’m talking about parents who put the kids to bed in their own rooms, only to have them wake up in the middle of the night and crawl into bed with them–and let them.
My bed is a “no kid zone”. The rule in our home is everyone sleeps in their own bed (or crib). The only time we make an exception is if our kids are sick. The main reason is that I cannot sleep with a kid in my bed. When they were babies, I feared I would roll over and crush them or that they would fall off the bed. Now that they are older, the elbows in my face keep me up. The other reason—just as important–is my bed is for my husband and me. It’s the one place of refuge we have in the house. It’s the only place we can establish as a “no-kid zone” and I need that.

But not all parents are like me. My closest friend, a mother of four, is awoken most nights by one of her kids crawling into to her bed. While she complains how tired she is because of it, the truth is, she doesn’t mind. She accepts it as a part of parenting.
There are countless books offering advice on getting kids to sleep in their own beds. Watch almost any Supernanny episode and there will be a battle getting the kids to stay in bed. However, there are also many parents who are fine having a family bed and many who start out co-sleeping right from the start. There is an attaching parenting philosophy that encourages co-sleeping.
So which type of parent are you? Is your bed a “no kid zone” or a family bed?

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  1. I think whatever works for your family is great. What bothers me about the whole “bed” thing is that some see only one RIGHT way to parent, and condemn anyone who doesn’t agree with them. Unfortunately, I’ve found the “attachment parenting” moms more prone to this then others…

  2. We always were firm that they were to sleep in their own cribs then beds. Like sleep training, we found that it took 3-4 nights of firm direction and then they accepted it as the norm.
    In the event of the occasional nightmare we may let them come into our bed, but only for a short time and then I carry the kid back to their bed.
    And similar to MtclrMom, I caveat all of this with the standard, ‘it worked for us, do what works for you’.

  3. I let my twins sleep with us the night they came home from the hospital. That was the last time any of my three children slept in my bed. I don’t allow kids to sleep in my bed for any reason ever.
    When I wanted to sleep with my youngest during the early months of breastfeeding, I put a twin mattress in his room.
    My sister-in-law has co-slept with her three for years, and they’re a great family. Go with whatever works. But by the same token, I get worn out when a co-sleeping friend constantly complains about her tiredness.

  4. I’d absolutely LOVE my kid to sleep with us, but HE refuses. Ever since he was a tiny baby, he’d not sleep there. He instead slaps our faces, plays, etc. He sees our bed as a fun place to play and jump around (which we let him do during the day occasionally), but not a place to sleep. So, no snuggles for us, as awesome as it’d be.

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