When Did You Realize You Were Old?

misusing_slang.pngA few weeks back, while standing in line at the supermarket checkout, a sweet, teenage girl was at the register ringing up my groceries. She was all smiles and very chatty, telling me she was going to go to college next year, giving me props for using coupons, because she is learning that saving money is good, etc.. While waiting, I pulled out my iPhone to check emails and then she turned into a brat.

She asked me if it was an iPhone. “Yes,” I replied, to which she said, “That’s so great how older people are all into technology…using iPhones, texting…… I think it’s cool.”

Older person? Technically I am older than a teenager, but when did I become an old person?

When I taught high school, among a bunch of teenagers, I felt like a cool older (in my 20s) person that the kids looked up to, but I never felt old. When I became a mother at age 30, I felt like a true grown-up, but I never felt old. But I guess, at age 36, I am old, especially to a young, perky teenage girl. This interaction started me thinking. Do I give off “old” vibes? I realized I do.

Here are ten signs that I am old:

  1. I’ve already turned into my mother by saying things such as: “If I have to come in there!!!!!”
  2. I think Lady Gaga is scary and totally innappropriate for kids. I think her music stinks too. Alejandro sounds just like a song Ace of Base would have written—if they turned to drugs.
  3. I find myself saying things like: “They just don’t make hip-hop songs like they used to. Everything is about sex and money now.”
  4. When I heard about Kyleigh’s Law and the red decals drivers under 21 need on their cars, I thought, “It’s about time!”
  5. I think kids should be more formal with adults and yearn for the days of proper etiquette.
  6. I find myself thinking everything is inappropriate these days: swimsuits, kids watching movies too old for them, etc..
  7. I look at all the teen idols (Justin Beiber, Zac Efron, Taylor Lautner) and think, “These are the type of boys girls like? Where are all the manly looking heartthrobs?”
  8. I find myself blasting Michael Bublé in my car a lot lately. I can’t help it, his voice is great and he’s really cute.
  9. I still say things like: awesome, totally cool, props and other words that peaked in the 80s.
  10. I went to bed at 9 pm last night.

When did you realize you were old?

(Photo: xkcd comics)

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  1. I know I am old I’m just waiting for the rest of the world to figure it out. I get hit on by much younger guys, not as fun as it sounds. I got ID’ed buying beer while standing next to my 10 years younger sister (who did not get ID’ed) She’s still not thrilled with me. When I went to jury duty I told the judge I have a professional bias on a case and he said I looked to young to have a job let alone a profession. I’m sure this is my fault for having a Barbie themed 30th birthday party, but hey we had JUST had 9/11 and needed some fun.

  2. When I saw this article in my RSS feed, I gasped. I thought, “how do they know it’s my birthday and that all day I have been feeling really old??”.
    And for the record, at 34 (as of today!) my list is identical to yours, with the exception of Michael Buble. I just can’t got there…yet.

  3. I think the statement “You’re as old as you feel” is so true. I’ve known people who were old in their 40’s and people who were young in their 60’s or 70’s..It’s all a matter of mindset…

  4. I’ve felt old SINCE I started teaching high school. And that was when I was 25. Of course, it’s fine with me because getting carded to see _Girl 6_ in 1996 for a matinee was no fun. Who carries a license to see a rated R movie when you’re almost 26?
    Nowadays, Lady Gaga and Ke$ha are two staples for post-nap dance time around here. I only listen to stations other than WNYC when I’m scanning for danceable tunes with the toddlers. Since ABBA and Duran Duran don’t get a lot of play, I take what I can get.

  5. When some of the teachers I work with are young enough to be my daughters,
    When I received my first offer in the mail to join the AARP,
    When my college reunion committee notified me they are preparing for the 30th reunion,
    AND, when my husband and I can’t wait till Friday night so we can go to bed early and sleep in a bit the next morning!!!

  6. hey Right of Center,
    A corruption of the word “Owned.” This originated in an online game called Warcraft, where a map designer misspelled “owned.” When the computer beat a player, it was supposed to say, so-and-so “has been owned.” Instead, it said, so-and-so “has been pwned.” It basically means “to own” or to be dominated by an opponent or situation, especially by some god-like or computer-like force.

  7. Georgette: You must not be that old. If you had kids old enough to drive you’d think Kayleigh’s law was STUPID. Because the decals get stolen and you have to replace them every other day (and they cost money) because if your kid is out just past the curfew you have to tell them to break the law and take the stickers off, because if they forget to put the stickers on there is a huge ticket. . .

  8. “A corruption of the word “Owned”
    Thanks kjeckm.
    How does one pronounce it? “ponned” ? “pwinned” ? “pinned”?

  9. Signs that you are Old:
    1) You think the fact you are using Twitter, Facebook, etc some how makes you hip or cool.
    2) You go out of your way to use phrases you hear on your kid’s favorite shows because you think it will make you look hip / cool without actually knowing what the phrase means (like pwn or being over the age of 30 and referring to someone as your “BFF”).
    3) You say “Thank you” when someone cards you.
    4) You spend more time reading parenting blogs than music/movie/whatever you liked before kids reviews.

  10. ROC,
    You pronounce it “Poned”… like “owned” but with a soft p in the beginning (like pounce or pony).

  11. It was 25 years ago when a young lady came into my office all excited and said “Hey, I just heard that before Paul McCartney sang with WINGS, he was in this really cool group called the Beatles…”

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