A Modest Proposal

Dear JCP&L,

I want you to know that I truly do understand that you are working as hard as you can to restore power, and I’m honestly grateful that it only took 3 days for us to get our power back.  I appreciate that you have quite a number of downed wires to contend with.

Now that my kids have had three days off of school, they are getting a little nudgy, however.  This morning, Benjamin shoved a Cheerio up his nose.  I tried setting them to work, and while they were pretty good at hauling downed limbs to the curb, they sucked at writing lesson plans, drafting articles, and commenting on student drafts.  They need something to do, I need them out of the house, and you need extra sets of hands.

So, I’m dropping them off at the next bucket truck I see.  You’ll probably want to play to their strengths.  If I were you, I’d use Zachary to read off the instructions and make sure everyone is following the rules, Benjamin to do whatever is most likely to result in bodily harm, and Lilah to compliment you on your work.

No need to return them to me; just drop them off at school tomorrow morning.


Emily Rosenbaum

Emily Rosenbaum is a writer, mother and all-around lunatic living in Baristaville. Her collection of essays and recipes, Cooking on the Edge of Insanity, is available for Kindle and Nook.

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