Amazing Kreskin Predicts 2012: Go Back To Bed

Montclair native George Kresge, a.k.a. The Amazing Kreskin, has a bunch of predictions for 2012, but read only if you want to make like Rip Van Winkle and pull the covers over your head at least until 2013. Kreskin, who predicted Obama would win in 2008, has a prediction for November’s presidential election, but it’s in the vault until November. Among the cheery prophecies Kreskin is revealing now:

  • Crime will go up all over the country.
  • Most everyone will own a gun.
  • Technology will steal whatever privacy you have left.
  • Enough with the doom and gloom. Put on your mentalist cap and tell us what you predict for 2012. We’ll check back in December and see who got it right.

    Hat tip: The Morning Call

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    1. We never get much wildlife in our backyard. Just the usual pleasant variety of birds, squirrels and chipmunks. But last year we had a turkey. This year we had an opossum. I predict we’ll see a yak in 2012.

    2. I predict that our town manager (a misnomer) and town council will ask the state to waive the tax cap and will raise our taxes by 7%.

    3. No event good or bad would surprise me in 2012. Its kind of like the world is one giant active volcano that can do everything from lie quietly to erupt massively destroying everything. I don’t think you can take global depression, world war, or revolution off the table for any country.

      Solve Europe and the range of outcomes is much narrower. US is likely ok provided enough attention is given to our deficit.

    4. Actually, PAZ, the Washington Yak is a migratory species that winters in Iowa and New Hampshire every 4 years.
      This is a rarity, in that, most known migratory species found in North America head in the opposite direction.

    5. I predic that STQ will see an aardvark. I also predict that there will be an announcement that Anthony Weiner wanted to have a threesome with a yak.

    6. If he has a prediction for the 2012 election but is keeping it in the vault until November, it makes me wonder just how “amazing” he is. By the time November rolls around, we can all be experts!

      That being said, I predict we’ll have a different man in the White House come November but I am not yet sure who that will be. I think a lot of folks–both Democrats and Republicans–are VERY upset with Obama’s recent passage of NDAA. It’s not just conjecture on my part…I hear what they are saying. People, educate yourselves about this law if you already haven’t. It’s a very scary thing and we are on a slippery slope.

      As for crime, I don’t predict a huge surge. Certain crimes are actually on the decline in most big cities, with the exceptions of robberies and burglaries (reflection of the economy perhaps?) Also, assaults on women are up. Not sure of the reason why.

      Most everyone will own a gun? Again, I don’t see this happening, especially in states that don’t respect the Second Amendment. If someone wants to get a gun badly enough, they will do so by any means necessary.

      As for technology, it already HAS stolen any last vestige of privacy. You can run, but you can’t hide.

      The good news is that I predict a couple of major medical advances that will help save thousands of lives. I predict that more research will be done in the area of organ harvesting so, for example, if you have a bad kidney or liver, doctors can use your own cells to harvest an organ that will be as good as new and compatible with your body.

      I also predict that we will see cures and/or advanced treatments for several types of cancer, including pancreatic and breast cancer.

    7. Walleroo’s Prophesies for 2012:

      The year will start out cold and dark, gradually get warmer and lighter, and then get cold and dark again.
      The news on Baristanet will be slow.
      Cathar will say something ridiculous.
      ROC and Cary will have a falling out.
      Gingrich will carry the GOP nomination and defeat Obama by a wide margin at the polls, only to be disqualified for lack of a birth certificate.
      Mr. Jingle will make a comeback in April disguised as the Easter Bunny.

    8. Prosperity (anywhere) will become more and more dependent on the global economy as we move through 2012. Agreed that Romney will be elected. If its any other GOP candidate or Obama himself god help us, it will be four more years of the same crap. Who wants to relive 04 to 08 or 08 to 12 again? No one is my guess.

    9. To expand on my prediction — Romney will be the President, he will lighten regulations, encourage private sector investment in energy resources we have in our own country and we will thrive. We have oil resources, but I predict the next boom (i.e. Clinton with the tech boom) is natural gas; hundreds of billions of dollars on shale based natural gas, and all the jobs and wealth creation, tax revenues,etc it will bring this country.

    10. I predict…… we will all be arrested under the NDAA for subversive comments on B’net.
      Our organs will be harvested for the use of the Oligarchy.
      Obama will be re-elected with Mitt Romney as his VP.
      You will get affordable healthcare once you’re declared….dead.
      AND all holidays will be rolled together and celebrated for one whole month with much merriment and frivolity AND war without end, amen……What joy!

    11. Indeed, CME,we have many natural resources underground.

      Why we stopped mining asbestos I’ll never know. It was such a great insulator. Those liberals must have slapped too many regulations on the asbestos companies, and people lost their jobs. Miners, factory workers, healthcare workers treating asbestosis. All, hard working folks, all out of work.

      And what about National Starch? ( see Bloomfield thread ) Who shut them down? I’ll bet it was those liberals! Once we had a job creator there along the river, now we have some vacant toxic Superfund site instead. Regulations are job killers, I’m tellin’ ya.

      But oil shale is more promising. We can pretend we’re Saudi Arabia lite, drilling our way to prosperity. I might want to start a company that tests contaminated groundwater all up and down the Marcellus Shale deposit. Big money in water testing, and I’ll set some of it aside for my retirement.

      Too bad about Christie and that moratorium on fracking. But he’ll come around.

    12. “Mitt Romney is going to be our next President and we are going to enjoy properous times again.”

      Both of the candidates who I previously backed have disappointed me. Cain, for his poor handling of the media witch hunt, and Paul, for his bigoted and racist newsletter ramblings, which he is now trying to sweep under the rug. But it’s pretty hard to do that when it’s there in black and white and it has your signature on it.

      Right now, it looks like Romney will be the choice of the Republican Party but a lot can happen in 11 months. Will we have a third party candidate (besides Donald Trump)? It remains to be seen but stranger things have happened.

    13. Bill’s Prophesies for 2012:

      It will be a milder than normal winter, followed by an early spring.

      Iraq will fracture into three or four ethnically/religiously-defined microstates at war with each other in a situation closely resembling Lebanon of the 1980’s; US, UN and EU troops will (again) occupy the country to ensure civilian safety and international access to petroleum.

      The GOP nomination will go to Romney and Santorum who will face Obama and (Hillary Rodham) Clinton. The former will be defeated by a wide margin at the polls in the wake of a scandal involving VP candidate Santorum’s extramarital activities.

      Persuasive evidence will be discovered for intelligent life once having existed on the planet Mars.

      A major scandal involving forged scientific data will rock the US Food & Drug Administration, forcing an overhaul and thoroughgoing reform of the agency.

      Heretofore hidden facts will be brought to light by a highly-placed Vatican source (who will thereafter be ‘silenced’) of the fact that Albino Luciano (Pope John Paul I) was covertly murdered by opponents within the Roman Curia. Accusations will touch current and recent (now deceased) Church leaders.

      OK, meet you back here in a year! Let’s see how I do!

    14. It will be a Romney/Christie ticket on the GOP side, but this is by no means a done deal. Obama could jettison Biden and run with Hillary as VP. This would swing many committed Clinton fans and some independents into his camp. This would have little practical impact, however, and leave four tiresome years of waiting for HC to run for the top slot. The other conceivable impediment to a Romney win would be an independent challenger that could siphon off enough votes to swing the election to Obama. A three way race and an Obama/Clinton ticket are the Dems best case scenario. I’ve stopped being amazed at the Parade of the Horribles that the GOP reliably stages every four years, thereby taking what should be a landslide and making it into a nail biter.

    15. I predict we’ll all wake up and realize it doesn’t matter who is elected POTUS, they aren’t running things anyway. We’re all chasing the the red cape while the matador & his picadors are off laughing in our peripheral vision. They’re just going to keep stabbing you in the heinie until you bleed out all your bucks….But go ahead and think your vote counts…LOL while doling out more.
      Occupy Your Mind

    16. Romney will be the nominee. Obama has no shot against him, if NDAA is not the nail in the coffin I don’t know what is. Any opponent of Obama has too much material to work with, he has been a fish out of water for four years. He is in way over his head and probably can’t even clean up his own mess. Even if it is mainly a result of do-nothing repubs fact is nothing will get done with him in office. I predict close to a landslide in favor of Romney, I think the country learned from its mistake of re-electing Bush and will not let Obama mistakes compound for 4 more years.

    17. Anyone upset over NDAA 1. never read the patriot act. 2. never studied history enough to know that laws like this have been in force since before we had a constitution, (Sedition Act of 1918 which was the extension of the Espionage Act of 1917 off the top of my head as examples, I did a paper on this back in college so the details are fuzzy)

      It is shameful that once every few years it gets given a new name and people roll out their mock outrage of ignorance.

    18. stayhyphy,Who says Obama isn’t getting stuff done?

      Answer: The same people who insist he’s doing too much to make us a secular socialist cesspool.

      That’s why we know neither one is true.

    19. My outrage is not “mock.” I would be just as outraged if I lived in 1917 or 1918, as I am today. The Patriot Act reads like “Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm” compared to what’s in this latest incarnation. But go ahead, embrace it. I hope you like living in a country governed by martial law.

    20. Listen Patsie or HRHPPG….We need something for the troops to do now that they are coming back from Iraq but before they’re sent into Iran by the Star chamber and what could be better then chasing around their own fellow citizen’s who get out of hand by speaking up…THIS will be the American way….I predict.

    21. NDAA is truly frightening, and the timing of it’s passage was no accident. It is good to see that liberal pundits are on the case. The problem is, most casual news readers will view this Trojan Horse narrowly, as another arrow in the quiver of defending America against terrorists specifically of the beard and turban variety, instead of the extra-constitutional assault on individual freedoms that it empowers the government to employ. You really don’t need to be a conspiracy theorist to be wary of this.

      Logic would dictate that Romney is electable and should run away with the election, but I’ve seen logic defeated. I’m saving my high fives until after the last out of the final game.

    22. Romney will never pick Santorum, he is Homophobic and a disgraceful human being. Romney is a pragmatist, and smart to boot!

      The ticket will be Romeny/Christie or Rubio. (Doubting Christie will run though)

      Obama will win. Heard it first here folks!

      The Senate will change hands, the House will remain Republican. Very little will get done, maybe a few major changes to Entitlements, but nothing really.

      Gas will be $5 by summer(July 4th)

      No one will attack Iran

      North Korea will have a power struggle by next winter, with massive Chinese influence, outcome is questionable

      Iraq will have civil war

      Pakistan will have military coup

      Afghan government will dissolve after US leaves, Civil war by end of 2012

      Italy, Portugal, Spain instill massive austerity programs and survive

      Greece defaults, becomes its own nation state again

      US remains the strongest nation in the world, bar none!

      I hate to say this but i predict terrorist activity at London 2012 games. Sad to say, but the reality on the ground over the past 10 years with Islamists extremism in the UK leads me to this conclusion!

      P.S. Hillary Clinton would never align herself with Obama.(The Clintonites that defected will never be asked back, i.e Axelrod, Summers, etc.) She took the job of Sec State to garner contacts for Clinton Global Initiative.

    23. “THIS will be the American way….I predict.”

      This has been the American way since before we were called America. This type of law will always be in the books as a last resort.

      Was anyone posting here arrested under the Patriot Act? No. But we all could have been and detained without the government letting our families even know where we were indefinitely. How does that sound like Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm ? How does being held indefinitely without our families being notified NOT martial law?

      I’m glad some people are waking up to all this, but it is only new to you. To US history it’s been the status quo for over 200 years.

    24. The Patriot Act was designed to spy on people suspected of being terrorists, harboring terrorists, or having terroristic ties. Fair enough since 9-11 was fresh in everybody’s minds and hearts.

      The NDAA can DETAIN U.S. citizens for virtually any reason since there exists no clear definition of what defines a terrorist. If I own a gun, keep a month’s supply of food in my basement, have Muslim friends or relatives, and have been overheard saying something negative about the current administration, under this law, I can be deemed a terrorist and detained indefinitely, without a trial or lawyer.

    25. My only experience with the Patriot Act has pertained to it’s strengthening of the “know your customer” provisions relating to financial transactions. It is somewhat cumbersome, but I have to believe that it has prevented to some extent the ability of those whose intentions are hostile to ours with using our financial markets to their advantage…

    26. And my prediction is that reliably affable walleroo will, again and again and again, say things which are meant to recall Russell Baker at his most horribly avuncular. But fall spectacularly short, to be sure.

      If there is in fact some sort of Montclair equivalent of P.G. Wodehouse’s Drones Club, I’m quite sure that walleroo and Spiro T snooze life off there in adjoining armchairs.

      (Ridiculous enough for ya, roo? Not quite prescient enough?)

      But I do kind of like NDAA, naturally.

    27. As you might imagine, cathar, and per your post, old Spiro T. now requires an armchair to be an armchair liberal.
      I’d hit the road in the name of secular salvation, but lately, I find armchairs and laptops far more enjoyable when it comes to facilitating the task of helping unfortunate souls in far away places.
      No need to steamboat over to their homelands and subject my weary bones to strange diseases, all the while shooting digital photos of their lush, exotic, and picturesque countrysides, which I would then upload to Facebook, so as to share the gleanings of my worldly explorations with 5,237 of my closest friends, as I ingest medicated pills with a glass of hot tea enhanced with lemon and honey.

    28. The old protest song says: “Step out of line the man comes and takes you away.”
      Now with the NDAA, the man can come and shoot you down even if you don’t think you stepped over the line.

    29. I predict that one the country elects a new President we will see a sense of renewed optimism in the country.

    30. Ice….Not sure about “elects a new President but from your mouth to God’s ear on “a sense of renewed optimism. My cup’s running dry. We all need a boost.

    31. I love him dearly, but Kreskin is not actually a Montclair native. I asked him about that once, and he said he’s really from Caldwell. Still lives there, last I heard. He told me he tells people he’s from Montclair because no one ever heard of Caldwell. I still get a holiday card from him every year, by the way.

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