Valentine’s Day: Isn’t It Romantic? Or, not?

BY  |  Thursday, Feb 14, 2013 9:09am  |  COMMENTS (19)

Val Day Red Rose
The U.S. Census Bureau, ever sensitive to our needs, tells us this morning that if you still need a Valentine’s offering, New Jersey is home to 524 florists, and some 2756 supermarkets and specialty stores that stock blooms. Also, 135 candy and nut shops, and 2999 pharmacies, convenience, and general discount stores that sell candy gift selections. Plenty of Baristaville restaurants and eateries and shops have romance on order, too.

In other words, no excuse.

Which is terrific if you have a special romantic sweetie. But what if you don’t? Or like me, you and your honey have been married 24 years and think of February 14 as time of year right before you get seriously nervous about taxes?

I say not a problem. Valentine’s Day is also a good time to scroll through our history of lousy sweeties, whose behavior in retrospect make us glad a heart-shaped box is not coming our way.

Worst Valentine's Day Sign

Like the seventh grade boy who, after you’ve been “going out” (translation: making out in the woods when you should have been at the library) for two months, one day in the middle of lunch blurts, “I don’t like you no more.”

Like the college boyfriend, always too cheap to pay for two movie tickets, who, after you break up, sends three dozen red roses with a note that says, “Goodbye.” Honey, this was decades before quickcheapflowers.com.

Like the too handsome salesman you fell for at a conference who promises if you ever get to his home city, 3000 miles away, he’ll spend every waking minute with you, and then when you wrangle a business trip out there, you phone him (again, decades before texting; I am old!) only to find out he’s engaged.

Then there are the Valentine’s Days when your husband, love of your life, father of your children, gave you a bicycle helmet, ordered flowers online that were DOA, or the time when his card said “to someone special” and looked as if it was fished out of his 92-year-old mother’s all occasion card box, or — most grievous offense of all — the year you said you didn’t want anything and he believed you.

Valentines Day Trap

All of which puts V-Day in perspective, no? And why it’s okay that tonight I’ll be on the couch, sipping hot chocolate – no, let’s go batpoop crazy and have a glass of wine! – and doing nothing more romantic than watching some lame TV we can both agree on, or playing with Google’s Valentine’s Day interactive graphic. I know my husband will be right there next to me. How do I know? Because there’s no Devils game on tonight.

What about you? Better plans than me? Bad sweetheart stories to share? We’d love to hear.

Images: Flickr Creative Commons

19 Comments

  1. POSTED BY walleroo  |  February 14, 2013 @ 10:52 am

    DOA flowers? cheap college boyfriend? lame V day in front of the TV?

    Oh, Lisa, you must be doing something wrong.

  2. POSTED BY jerseygurl  |  February 14, 2013 @ 10:58 am

    Gosh, Lisa. I don’t exactly love Hallmark holidays, but it’s nice to have a day dedicated to love and hearts and flowers and dressing up and going out and holding hands and canoodling. Even for old married farts like me and my husband. I’ll even break out the nice lingerie.

  3. POSTED BY Mrs Martta  |  February 14, 2013 @ 11:04 am

    It took me 50 years to find someone who appreciates the romanticism of Valentine’s Day. That being said, I realize that it’s a “Hallmark holiday” and the what happens on the other 364 days is just as important. In fact, it’s more even touching to do something romantic for someone on any given day, “just because.” And more of a surprise, too.

    Although Valentine’s Day has romantic connotations, you can express your love and appreciation to family members, friends, just about anyone who is special to you in some way. And let us not forget our furry friends, too.

  4. POSTED BY jerseygurl  |  February 14, 2013 @ 11:17 am

    My furry friends will get extra loving too.

  5. POSTED BY cathar  |  February 14, 2013 @ 11:38 am

    “Love is removed to the very center of being” – that’s something a member of an Anglican religious order in an old folks’ home says to author Ronald Blythe in his look at aging, “The View In Winter,” and it’s always stuck with me.

    And Blythe, whose “Akenfield” is an amazing look at the ravages of happiness in one small English village, is much worth reading on any day.

  6. POSTED BY silverleaf  |  February 14, 2013 @ 11:50 am

    “Fathers and teachers, I ponder, ‘What is hell?’ I maintain that it is the suffering of being unable to love.”

    – F. M. Dostoevsky from “The Brothers Karamazov”

  7. POSTED BY Jenn  |  February 14, 2013 @ 12:17 pm

    I just shoved my tongue down the throat of a delicious sandwich. I love Valentine’s Day!

  8. POSTED BY profwilliams  |  February 14, 2013 @ 12:21 pm

    As I rolled over this morning a peek-a-boo ribbon of sunlight shown through the curtain, greeting mrs. prof and I as we calculated that this was our 25 Valentine’s Day together,.

    To the anti-Valentine’s day folks, Happy Thursday!!

    To the lovers, may yours continue to show.

  9. POSTED BY Jenn  |  February 14, 2013 @ 12:30 pm

    Happy 25th, Prof!

  10. POSTED BY croiagusanam  |  February 14, 2013 @ 12:31 pm

    Flush with excitement from his romantic morning, the prof hurried to the university. Greeting colleagues in the faculty lounge, he gushed “As I rolled over this morning a peek-a-boo ribbon of sunlight shown through the curtain, greeting mrs. prof and I as we calculated that this was our 25 Valentine’s Day together.”

    Cranky old English professor McGillacuddy piped up. “It’s greeted mrs. prof and ME, you philistine!”

    Some people don’t know from romance!

  11. POSTED BY croiagusanam  |  February 14, 2013 @ 12:32 pm

    I, on the other hand, wish the prof couple 25 more happy ones.

    Tell McGillacuddy to sod off!

  12. POSTED BY Mrs Martta  |  February 14, 2013 @ 1:02 pm

    Happy 25th, Prof. And Jenn, your comment made me LOL.

  13. POSTED BY profwilliams  |  February 14, 2013 @ 1:25 pm

    So sweet you all. As it is, the wedding anniversary remains am autumnal affair, this day finds me, like many of you simply flush.

    Funny about “old man” McGillacuddy, in 2012 “he’s” a stunning Asian woman in Louboutin heels. College has changed…

    Though thankfully, still filled with us “young” Romantics.

  14. POSTED BY croiagusanam  |  February 14, 2013 @ 2:58 pm

    2012?

    You’re so yesterday, prof.

    And college must truly have changed if the profs can sport Louboutin heels.

    They still wear robes though, right?

  15. POSTED BY PAZ  |  February 14, 2013 @ 9:10 pm

    I picture the Prof gowned up at @ Huxley U…..With Pres. Quincy Adams Wagstaff running the show.

  16. POSTED BY croiagusanam  |  February 14, 2013 @ 9:50 pm

    What do you take for a haddock, PAZ?

  17. POSTED BY walleroo  |  February 14, 2013 @ 11:06 pm

    I’ll even break out the nice lingerie.

    TMI!

    I just shoved my tongue down the throat of a delicious sandwich.

    Plech…

  18. POSTED BY jerseygurl  |  February 15, 2013 @ 8:20 am

    ‘roo, it worked. ; )

  19. POSTED BY redrum  |  February 15, 2013 @ 9:02 am

    I broke out the red shag carpet, lit some candles, dimmed the lights and put on some Barry White.

    It worked.

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