Sundy night at a bit after 8 p.m. I received word that two men that are near and dear in my life were going to get married at midnight. For next few hours texts and e-mails were flying in and out. At one insane point I was trying to convince my friend Jen to come over and help me make hundreds of origami flowers to create a chuppah. I came back down to earth and remembered that these two men have been together for 22 years. This was not about presents, flowers, rice, dresses, cakes, invitations or cards. It was about commitment, equality and — LOVE.
At 11:30 p.m., the First Congregational Church in Montclair was filled with candlelight, close friends, family and hope. Together at midnight with their twins these partners of 22 years spoke of memories together, remembered loved ones past and then said their vows. I sat in awe of these two remarkable men and cried. This is not the normal cry one has when a new couple embarks on a fresh relationship together. These tears were for my friends who had been for so long denied the rights that so many of us take for granted.
There was so much love in that church, when the lights were dimmed we all held candles in honor of this beautiful ceremony. Standing in the quiet, dark, candlelit church, I felt anger building inside of me. Anger for anyone who has ever been made to feel less-than because of how they came into this world. I know that anger on its own does nothing but cause wrinkles, so today my anger has become appreciation for those who fought to make this night happen. Particularly for all of the public officials in Montclair that opened doors and signed documents last minute on a Sunday.
Today I am still in awe of all the states who have not made same sex marriage legal but, for the most part, I am proud. Proud of my friends and proud of my town. Nice job New Jersey. Well done Montclair.