MontClairVoyant: Lots of Snow, Lack of Dough, and Politicians Not Friend But Foe

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DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
Was March 14’s major snowstorm a nor’easter, brad’forder, bull’ocker, edge’monter, hill’sider, nish’uaner, or watch’unger?

Sincerely,
Felix Watch’Unger

All seven Montclair elementary schools were closed — even as Edgemont Park geese donned power suits, grabbed a mike, and gave the most camera-ready weather report I’ve ever seen.

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
Please drop the Delusional Channel from your cable package. Meanwhile, didn’t Montclair Cares About Schools’ great March 12 forum include talk of Gov. Chris Christie’s state-aid stinginess that harms school districts such as Montclair’s?

Sincerely,
Not Chris Chringle

That Republican’s 17-percent approval rating put him on the cover of “Seventeen” magazine — near the blurb “Get Prom Pretty.”

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
The effects of Donald Trump’s vile anti-immigration actions were also discussed at the MCAS event. How can students learn to their maximum ability when terrified that their undocumented parents might be deported?

Sincerely,
A. Larmed

Trump needs a gift pack containing kindness, empathy, compassion, and Renaissance’s “A Song for All Seasons.” (Heck, it’s a great album.)

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
And it includes the majestic song “Day of the Dreamer” that’s not about any of the immigrant children called “Dreamers.” Anyway, didn’t Christie’s state-aid stinginess also come up at March 13’s Board of Education meeting?

Sincerely,
Bea O. Eee

Inadequate state aid leads to awful cost-cutting such as the proposed layoffs of about 50 paraprofessionals in our school district’s tentative 2017-18 school budget. The guv’s Montclair approval rating is now 34 points below his state approval rating, putting him on the cover of “Minus Seventeen” magazine — near the blurb “Ready, Set, Sparkle.”

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
I have some issues with the new budget, but I still think interim superintendent Ronald Bolandi is infinitely more humane, popular, and competent than Christie and Trump. As Bolandi’s two-year tenure ends, wasn’t it nice that the BOE honored him with a resolution?

Sincerely,
A. Preciation

Let’s hope his interim and permanent successors do as well. Montclair has had so many superintendents the past few years that I can only quote another “Seventeen” magazine cover line: “Party Hair!”

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
It’s now time for your weekly swipe at Congressman Rodney Frelinghuysen. Why is that formerly “moderate” Republican supporting a huge hike in the way-too-big U.S. military budget and an Obamacare repeal that will likely result in millions losing their health insurance?

Sincerely,
Upper Montclair’s Misrepresentative

Because Rodney has capitulated to the heartless far right to stay in its good graces. The 1956 book “Profiles in Courage” was published 61 years too soon…for Frelinghuysen to be rejected for inclusion.

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
Was March 14’s major snowstorm a nor’easter, glen’fielder, buzz’aldriner, or MHS’er?
Sincerely,
Kay Through-Twelve

I asked the robot that Montclair High’s amazing robotics team brought to the BOE meeting, and it replied in the voice of “2001: A Space Odyssey” computer HAL: “Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye.”


Dave Astor is the MontClairVoyant. His opinions about politics and local events are strictly his own and do not represent or reflect the views of Baristanet.

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1 COMMENT

  1. Oops — forgot to mention “ren’aissancer” in my last question. And [smacking my head] Renaissance was my older daughter’s middle school. 🙂

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