MontClairVoyant: Open Space, the Final Frontier; Pave Over Every Montclair Park?

BY  |  Thursday, Sep 21, 2017 1:15pm  |  COMMENTS (0)

 


DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

I’m troubled — feeling so bad for developers. When they finish grossly overbuilding downtown in a few years, what’s left for them to do in Montclair? Their reason to wake up in the morning?

Sincerely,
To Dream the Grim-Possible Dream

They could pave over and develop every inch of our town’s beautiful parks! Julia Alvarez wrote “In the Time of the Butterflies”; the Planning Board could write “In the Time of the Variances.”

 

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
Destined for bookstore horror sections everywhere. But what would happen to Edgemont Park’s geese?

Sincerely,
Quack to the Future

Don’t worry — developers could set aside 10 percent of that park’s new housing for waterfowl. Well, maybe 5 percent…or 1 percent. Heck, the geese could move to Watching Plaza and live in UPS Store mailboxes.

 

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
Awful! Surely Glenfield Park wouldn’t be built on, too?

Sincerely,
Never a Staple Near Maple

With a middle school next door, what better place to erect housing too pricey for teachers? I envision 5,000 units, with minus one of them affordable. Developers have hearts — well, 13 of them if they buy a deck of cards.

 

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
Also, Anderson Park could get stores, offices, and restaurants! With the Upper Montclair Business District just beyond the park, why travel a few more inches if you live on a street such as Princeton Place?

Sincerely,
For Whom the Bellevue Tolls

Buzz Aldrin left Princeton Place decades ago, so the 66 and 33 DeCamp rockets no longer go to Bellevue Avenue. If they did, they’d be mistaken for Tinga’s burritos.

 

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
After The MC opens downtown, Brookdale Park could be the site for a second new hotel: The BP. That Pentagon-sized hostelry would be filled to capacity, right?

Sincerely,
Mary Ott and Sue Pereight

The lobby would certainly be packed with angry rec-soccer players after the park’s turf field was destroyed to build The BP. Developers could autograph the kids’ shin guards.

 

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
How about an oversized “arts district” (to go along with the planned Seymour Street-area one) in Nishuane Park?

Sincerely,
I’m Not Well, Mont

People could admire murals of a paved-over Nishuane Pool rather than swim in it, saving money on goggles.

 

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
What about Mountainside Park?

Sincerely,
Slope Springs Eternal

That partly hilly expanse of green space could be completely flattened for showy homes, with kids sledding down the two “n’s” in “McMansions.”

 

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
Montclair’s lovely parks wouldn’t really be developed, would they?

Sincerely,
It’s Not Queasy Being Green

The only open space left in Montclair would be between this column’s questions and answers.

 

 
 

Dave Astor, author, is the MontClairVoyant. His opinions about politics and local events are strictly his own and do not represent or reflect the views of Baristanet.

 

 

 

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I'm struck by how much attention is being paid to the details of a parking lot, as opposed to the attention paid to the future impact of the monstrous projects being planned.

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