MontClairVoyant: A Murphy Bed in the Governor’s Mansion and Other Election Reflections

BY  |  Thursday, Nov 09, 2017 1:00pm  |  COMMENTS (0)

 


DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

What would you call Phil Murphy, Chris Christie, and Jon Corzine — the last three people elected governor of New Jersey?

Sincerely,
Garden State Razzer

A Goldman Sachs sandwich.


DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

Yup, Murphy and Corzine were top execs at GS (aka Greedy Soulless), and Christie was in office between them. Now the question becomes: With Murphy elected Nov. 7 thanks to many Montclairites and other voters, will that Democratic multimillionaire match his campaign rhetoric by governing in a relatively progressive way?

Sincerely,
Corporation Nation

Murphy will at least be much better than the awful Christie, whose post-“Bridgegate” popularity sank even lower than Satan’s because traffic on the Highway to Hell never got stopped.

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
Does a Murphy administration mean that Pearson’s ridiculous PARCC test — including the ridiculous-er PARCC graduation exam — will be swept into the dustbin of New Jersey history?

Sincerely,
South PARCC

Fervently hope so. I’m proud to live in a town with perhaps the highest PARCC opt-out rate in NJ, but it would be nice to no longer hear an AC/DC cover band sing “Highway to Pearson Headquarters.”


DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

What does Murphy think about massive overdevelopment in downtown Montclair?

Sincerely,
I’m Seymour, and I See More Building

Don’t know. But maybe there’s a reason Murphy paraded AWAY from downtown when marching up Midland Avenue on July 4.

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
Sheesh — didn’t your previous column also contain a July 4th-related Murphy quip?

Sincerely,
Redux in a Row

Tough audience — I thought recycling was a good thing.


DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

That reminds me of the environmental and library public questions on the Nov. 7 ballot. Anything to say about their approvals?

Sincerely,
West Virginia Woolf

So glad the wonderful libraries in Montclair and elsewhere will get money for improvements. Heck, it helped to borrow “The Hours” when adapting to the recent time change.


DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

I watched a “60 Minutes” tutorial before moving my sundial. Dang, it was hard to push. Threw my back out, and Montclair’s garbage collectors picked it up. Now I feel like a Republican congressperson in the time of Trump.

Sincerely,
E. Nablers

Huh? Oh…no spine.


DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

Would you include Upper Montclair’s congressman Rodney Frelinghuysen in that spineless group?

Sincerely,
Fill-Up Morris

Sure. The former “moderate” constantly votes against his district’s interests in order to stay in the far right’s good graces and keep his worthless position as House Appropriations Committee chair. Next November? Highway to Hell Hath No Fury Like a Voter Scorned.

 

Dave Astor, author, is the MontClairVoyant. His opinions about politics and local events are strictly his own and do not represent or reflect the views of Baristanet.

 

 

 

 

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