MontClairVoyant: Sexism Is Everywhere, From DC to a New IC (Ice Cream) Place in Montclair

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DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

How do you spell “floccinaucinihilipilification”?

Sincerely,
An Absurd Word I Heard

With great difficulty. Next question.

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

The reason I asked is that “floccinaucinihilipilification” means “the estimation of something that’s worthless,” and I think today’s column will be worthless unless you provide sillier-than-usual comic relief. Do you know why I need that relief?

Sincerely,
Seeking a Reply or Answer

Because Trump and congressional Republicans are ruining our country with such abominations as their blatant sexism, rampant racism, assaults on public education, and tax-“reform” scam transferring even more wealth to the super-rich. Because Upper Montclair’s backbone-challenged representative Rodney Frelinghuysen has opportunistically become ultra-conservative. Because greedy developers continue to overbuild our downtown. Because no Montclair ice cream place sells brussels sprouts sorbet.


DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
Speaking of ice cream places, Dairy Air on Bloomfield Avenue has a crude/stupid/sexist/sexualized logo of a cow that looks like a woman with her naked rear end sticking out. When will you buy something at this new establishment?

Sincerely,
Dee Scusted

When hell (rather than Dairy Air’s ice cream) freezes over.

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
Isn’t that human-looking cow an especially outrageous logo during a time when the U.S. has a sexual predator as president and other prominent predators are being deservedly outed almost every day?

Sincerely,
Jerks R Them

If they keep that logo, it’s sure to keep folks going to the several other local ice cream places instead. Even cows are avoiding Dairy Air — I haven’t seen a bovine driving on Bloomfield Avenue in days.

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
Meanwhile, Montclair High’s undefeated football team won its Dec. 1 championship game 35-14 after you dissed that macho/brutal sport in last week’s column. Who’s sorry now?

Sincerely,
Ruffing, The Passer

Still glad I made three points (a field goal) against football. Or was it six points (a touchdown)? Injured players know there’s no safety in that sport. Actually, there IS a safety (two points) in football. “All-purpose yardage” is when Montclair homeowners have yard sales for multiple reasons. “West Coast offense” is what overly sensitive right-wingers experience when thinking of progressive California. Punsters lacking an “s” in their names are punters. I’ll stop now.


DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

Last week’s column did NOT contain another mention of the continuing efforts to save the historic Bellevue Theatre as a wonderful movie venue after last month’s dismaying closing. Why?

Sincerely,
Mo Shinpictures

I was depressed that “Nut Job 2: Nutty By Nature” — the last Bellevue film I saw — hasn’t been the subject of a scholarly article in the academic journal “Squirrels Today.”


DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

How do you spell “Squirrels Today”?

Sincerely,
Twice-Told Tails

The same way squirrels were spelled yesterday.

Dave Astor, author, is the MontClairVoyant. His opinions about politics and local events are strictly his own and do not represent or reflect the views of Baristanet.

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8 COMMENTS

  1. Dave,
    Just because some people take initiative and do things like run for president and build things doesn’t make them greedy or bad people. While you type away lamenting how things aren’t going the way you like others are getting things done the way they like. Your complaints are falling on deaf ears.
    You did provide some comic relief because it reminded me how Patrick Roy responded to a critic…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pW1aSTmwrOE

  2. Thanks for your comment, flipside, and the link to the video clip! That Stanley Cups-in-the-ears line is hilarious!

    Many people who have run for president are good people. Trump is not. The lying, the meanness, the reckless statements, the very weak criticism of Neo-Nazis, the multiple/credible accusations of him being a sexual predator, etc., etc., etc.

    Many people who build things are good people. The developers who build in Montclair are probably good people. But it’s not good to overbuild our town, make virtually all of the new housing pricey, and make most of the new retail shops “upscale.”

    Liberals are just as willing as right-wing Republicans to get things done — and they have: the eight-hour workday, Social Security, Medicare, Obamacare, and MANY other things. Lately, no matter how much energy they have, liberals are stymied in all kinds of ways: voter suppression, gerrymandering, the biased right-wing media’s fake news, unpopular Republican initiatives (like the awful tax “reform”) done in secret with no public hearings, and so on.

    But liberals and progressives are still fighting like hell. And, yes, my column might fall on some deaf ears, but I might as well keep writing what I believe and (hopefully) provide comic relief…of whatever kind. 🙂

  3. The “controversy” over the new Ice Cream Store’s logo is just the latest hilarious example of Political Correctness run amok!
    Lighten up people!
    Personally I think the name of the “Pretty Kitty”, or whatever it is called, waxing place on So. Fullerton is far more offensive, but to each their own.
    Stop creating a Nanny State and just let Market Forces do their thing. Just don’t patronize a store if YOU are offended. The owners will change it IF they feel it is effecting business.

  4. I hear you, dogpersone (love that screen name 🙂 ), but I don’t think people overreacted. The cow/woman image on the logo is very sexualized — and it was designed for an ice-cream place where many kids will go.

    “The Pretty Kitty” name is also kind of annoying, but that place is basically an adult establishment, and the logo (I just googled it) is much more subtle — a pink cat not pictured in a sexual pose.

    Also, I think part of the reaction against the Dairy Air logo is that many people were already angry with the blatant sexism/sexual predation that Trump and many other prominent men have been guilty of. And countless women are remembering their own humiliation and trauma about being treated like sexual objects. So the Dairy Air logo became kind of symbolic. Plus it’s often easier to change things locally than nationally.

    Very true that people can decide not to patronize Dairy Air, and very true that the market will determine if the place survives, but people also have the right to publicly slam or defend the logo.

  5. Markets are at all time highs (directly benefiting pension plans and retirement plans of the middle class) and unemployment is at all time lows.

    “I hear you, dogpersone (love that screen name 🙂 ), but I don’t think people overreacted. The cow/woman image on the logo is very sexualized — and it was designed for an ice-cream place where many kids will go.”

    How do we know the cow is a female and thus degrades females? Might the cow be transgender or transsexual or intersex? Jumping to conclusions is ignorant.

  6. Thanks for commenting, stayhyphy! Funny last paragraph! That Dairy Air cow might also be a Green Bay Packers fan… 🙂

    Markets are indeed up and unemployment is fairly low. One could argue that started during the Obama administration and Trump continued riding that wave, or maybe Trump deserves some credit.

    Also, higher markets obviously help people who have $$ in those markets, but many non-affluent people don’t. So income inequality continues to widen. And while unemployment may be down, that’s partly because many people have given up finding decent-paying jobs and are not even counted in the statistics. Also, many people who ARE employed are barely making it with the minimum wage so low and companies often giving little or no raises despite many of them being flush with profits.

    In short, arguments can be made for the economy being great or not so great.

  7. When the last administration was printing money hand over fist everyone swooned about the stock market going up and waiter and bartender jobs exploding. Let’s be consistent and admit that even though QE slowly is unwinding things are getting better. I am a little confused about the sexualizing thing. Isn’t Beyonce the ultimate role model for empowering women?? You can’t have it both ways. Don’t forget, we got here because it was “just a BJ”.

  8. Thanks for the follow-up comment, flipside!

    I’m not going to completely defend President Obama, who I had mixed feelings about — he was more a centrist than a liberal, and economic inequality remained huge during his eight years in office. But his policies, economic and otherwise, were much more coherent than Trump’s. And, unlike Trump, he is a decent person.

    Beyonce and other entertainers who use sex appeal as part of their “marketing”? Not impressed. Maybe some of those entertainers feel they have to do that given the way American culture is. At least Beyonce has a great voice. My female role models/empowerment models tend to be teachers, activists, and so on.

    I was never a big fan of Bill Clinton’s centrist policies and problematic personality — he was indeed a sexual predator.

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