MontClairVoyant: After World Cup Soccer, the ‘Goal’ Is to Be Critical Again

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DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
Your all-positive column last week didn’t have thematic room to analyze the Planning Board’s depressing July 9 decision to approve — with minor revisions — the too-big planned building at 256 Park Street. What say you now?

Sincerely,
Stark Arc on Park

Clearly, the Planning Board and developers love each other and yearn to be featured in The New York Times’ “Vows” section.

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
Aww — so sweet! But don’t you just hate meetings in which officials vote for oversized projects against the wishes of the vast majority of residents in attendance?

Sincerely,
Mockery of Democracy

In Montclair, that happens with “Groundhog Day”-like repetition. Except the 1993 movie was entertaining.

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
Just how crammed will the already-crammed Watchung Plaza become when that now-approved retail/apartment building at 256 Park replaces the much-smaller current building?

Sincerely,
Coming Detraction

Dangerously crammed, unless all cars and pedestrians shed 90 percent of their weight working out at AE Fitness. But I cringe when motor vehicles wear yoga pants.

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
Getting back to “Vows,” haven’t developers and the Township Council also been “an item” since some TC members began pushing the oversized Lackawanna Plaza (LP) redo and the idea of more six-story buildings on Bloomfield Avenue?

Sincerely,
Real-Estate Romance

Dang — your question included a link to Sarah McLachlan’s song “I Love You.” I just ate lunch!

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
With the LP redo scheduled to be discussed again at July 23’s Planning Board meeting, the developers found an “expert” to allege in a July 13 report that historic elements of the former train station are not that historic. Thoughts?

Sincerely,
Friday the 13th

The report itself would become historic if each page were deservedly crumpled and used by NBA players to practice their free throws.

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
Do the Planning Board and Township Council give developers almost everything they want partly from fear that developers would sue them if they didn’t?

Sincerely,
Court and No Spark

Possibly, but let ’em sue. Call their bluff. Be strong. “Be Best.” Oops, that’s Melania Trump’s slogan.

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
Another slogan, about Melania’s husband: “Trader Joe’s Is Better Than Traitor Trump.” Meanwhile, candidate Phil Murphy vowed to immediately end the PARCC tests if he were elected governor. Now, the most we can hope for is those exams fading away gradually. Surprised?

Sincerely,
Did Get Fooled Again

No. A politician’s promises are rarely believable and unilateral decisions are not always possible, but Murphy should be fighting harder to totally eradicate the time-wasting PARCCs. His new slogan: “Be Tested.”

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
With rec and travel soccer so big in Montclair, let’s discuss July 15’s World Cup championship match. How did France score four times?

Sincerely,
We’ll Sometimes Have Paris

The Arch of Triumph was too wide for Croatia’s goalie to defend.

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
Another winning development: Latifah Jannah joining the Board of Education as of the July 16 meeting. Comment?

Sincerely,
News About the New

Yes, a great choice! She replaced a BOE member who got a job in Indiana, which is nicknamed The Hoosier State because…um…well…who knows and who cares; this is a Montclair column.

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
Speaking of education, doesn’t this summer’s reassignments of Montclair principals seem like a game of musical chairs?

Sincerely,
Switches to New Niches

Sarah McLachlan’s “I Love You” is too slow to be the soundtrack for that game.

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
Okay, today’s column mostly contains a barrage of brickbats and a paucity of positivity. You’re back in predictable form!

Sincerely,
Accentuate the Negative

Thanks! My goal: never be lovey-dovey enough for a “Vows” story.

Dave Astor, author, is the MontClairVoyant. His opinions about politics and local events are strictly his own and do not represent or reflect the views of Baristanet.

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