MontClairVoyant: Kavanaugh Komedically Kondemned in Kommunity Kolumn

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DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
I know you’re dying to discuss the U.S. Supreme Court confirmation craziness, but how do you reconcile that desire with your column almost always having a local focus?

Sincerely,
National Rationale

The connection is BK: Montclair once had a Burger King (in Lackawanna Plaza), and Brett Kavanaugh once had a decent reputation.

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
Not so decent, because even before the highly credible sexual-assault/sexual-misconduct allegations against him, the far-right Kavanaugh was known for being anti-women, anti-poor, anti-civil rights, anti-environment, pro-gun, etc. Correct?

Sincerely,
Partisan Artisan

Still, I could see that repugnant Republican living in liberal Montclair. If a person viewed our burg from the east, Brett K. would appropriately reside in the far-right (northern-most) part of town. In Bonsal Preserve, I think.

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
You mentioned Lackawanna Plaza. Are you as confused as I am about the latest suggestions for parking and such?

Sincerely,
Strange Shed Fellows

LP’s developers probably wish the GOP-controlled Senate Judiciary Committee could ram through their history-wrecking LP redo like the SJC tried to ram through Kavanaugh’s confirmation. Apologies to the rams in Montclair’s animal shelter for making them a verb.

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
There are no rams in Montclair’s animal shelter!

Sincerely,
Sheepishly Fake News

Sorry — all that Republican lying can have a bad influence. So, despite my claims, our Municipal Building’s parking lot isn’t shaped like a duck-billed platypus dressed for Halloween as a blue-footed booby.

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
Even as Trump viciously mocked Dr. Christine Blasey Ford at an October 2 rally, don’t you think he and Senate Republicans believe her and the other brave Kavanaugh accusers but won’t admit it because they want a majority-far-right Supreme Court?

Sincerely,
I.D. Ology

Yes. It’s also a sexist thing and a white-male-entitlement thing — both of which need to die. If the Supreme Court moved to Montclair, it would be in the far-right (northern-most) part of town. Mount Hebron Cemetery, I think.

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
You mentioned the Municipal Building. Do the mayor and Township Council deserve props for Montclair’s debt continuing to lessen?

Sincerely,
Let That Be a Lessen to You

Yes. But even more impressive was the way two sexual-assault survivors confronted Jeff Flake (the rare right-wing Senate Republican with a tiny shred of conscience) in the Municipal Building elevator.

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
All that Republican lying can indeed have a bad influence — it was a Washington, DC, elevator, built by George Washington himself. If Kavanaugh ends up on the Supreme Court until 2068, what will you do?

Sincerely,
Sixty-Eight Is Enough

Celebrate Montclair’s 200th birthday.

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
At which time Kavanaugh might drink copious quantities of beer. But would he actually be alive in 50 years — at age 103?

Sincerely,
Centennial Perennial

“Only the good die young.”

Dave Astor, author, is the MontClairVoyant. His opinions about politics and local events are strictly his own and do not represent or reflect the views of Baristanet.

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5 COMMENTS

  1. No good deed goes unpunished.

    No sooner do I compliment the Council on managing the debt, the Council goes and gives the Downtown Business Owners use of their Gulfstream 5 street-weeper… to clean sidewalks….including Hampshire & Pinnacle’s Lackawanna Plaza. Seriously? Do they really need a Gulfsrtream 5 for this? This is like renting a Gulstream 5 to fly from Teterboro to Westchester. Maybe a helicopter would be better?

    These resolutions just keep piling up.

  2. Saving money and wasting money at the same time — another form of “diversity”?

    Thanks, Frank, for the comment and the vivid Teterboro-to-Westchester analogy!

  3. It’s also a sexist thing and a white-male-entitlement thing — both of which need to die.

    Dave,

    You’re giving way too much credit for the male contribution (all colors) when the female contribution drove the confirmation. As long as women put their equity second, I don’t think you can blame men…as politically correct as it might be. It’s what it means to be at the top the of food chain.

  4. Frank, very true that Susan Collins (and several other Republican women) helped drive the atrocious Supreme Court confirmation of a credibly accused sexual assaulter with an un-judge-like temperament. And it’s appalling that many white women supported and still support Trump and other misogynist Republican men. But I still think the blame is mostly on those Republican men. They comprise the vast majority of Republican senators and the vast majority of top Trump-administration officials. That said, I’m seething about Collins’ vote. She’s mostly a right-winger, masquerading as a “moderate.”

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