MontClairVoyant: Our Ever-More-Stuffed Downtown Is Gonna Need a ‘Decongestants R Us’

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DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
Last week you went all national on us when condemning Brett Kavanaugh and the Senate Republicans who backed him despite Kavanaugh being credibly accused of sexual assault. Can you return to local commentary?

Sincerely,
Local After Loco

Sure! Why does Trump take many trips on Air Force One? To amass Frequent Liar miles.

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
Hey — that’s not local commentary!

Sincerely,
Indignant on Inwood

Okay, okay, I’ll once again discuss overdevelopment in Montclair, where some building projects are almost as large as the giant beer keg that will replace the Washington Monument to commemorate Kavanaugh’s confirmation.

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
Your thoughts on the MC Residences project proposed on Orange Road near Bloomfield Avenue? Is Pinnacle overdeveloping downtown so much that the company is channeling New York’s late, hated “master builder” Robert Moses?

Sincerely,
The Power Joker

Speaking of Moses, here are Pinnacle’s Ten Commandments: 1) Profits 2) Profits 3) Profits 4) Profits 5) Profits 6) Profits 7) Profits 8) Profits 9) Profits 10) Profits.

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
Even as the company doesn’t care how crowded downtown is getting. Heck, Pinnacle already has the finished/huge Valley & Bloom, the rising/too-tall MC hotel, the coming “arts center,” and the coming Lackawanna Plaza redo. Comment?

Sincerely,
Manhattan West

I fear MC Residences (which would be near the big Hillside School) might be the final nail in Montclair’s overdevelopment coffin. Sort of like when the obese guy in the Monty Python skit literally explodes after eating one more morsel.

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
Hmm…not a good mental image for Montclair’s thriving restaurant scene.

Sincerely,
Venues With Menus

Given the expected traffic jams caused by overdevelopment, the only quick way to navigate Bloomfield Avenue will be atop flying sushi rolls. Hopefully equipped with tiny seat belts.

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,
Then there’s the proposal to demolish two historic Montclair mansions (one built in 1865), combine the properties, and reportedly build one humongous residential complex for an obscenely rich family. Is this some kind of income-inequality nightmare?

Sincerely,
Lloyd Undercliff

If kids live in that complex, they’ll have to be home-schooled. Because no matter how early in the morning they wake up, it will be night by the time they finish walking from their bedrooms to the front door.

Dave Astor, author, is the MontClairVoyant. His opinions about politics and local events are strictly his own and do not represent or reflect the views of Baristanet.

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2 COMMENTS

  1. Thank you for commenting, covertlymodern. Parking at Pinnacle’s current and future downtown properties seems to be a hodgepodge — on site, in parking decks, etc. And as Pinnacle prepares to build its so-called “art center” on/near Seymour Street, there was the recent closing of two neighborhood parking lots — making things very difficult for residents of, and visitors to, that area. All in all, by the time Pinnacle builds its various huge projects downtown, I doubt there will be enough parking for residents and visitors, even with new decks.

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