MontClairVoyant: Eternally Opposed to Internal-Combustion Leaf Blowers

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

A Superior Court judge rejected a landscaping company’s challenge to Montclair’s 2021 ordinance that further limited the use of gas-powered leaf blowers. Who’s among the fans of that good August 27 ruling?

Sincerely,

Eternal Combustion

The 1910-deceased O. Henry because he can finally rest in peace after visitors to his grave kept asking him to write a “Last Leaf” sequel called “Blast Leaf.”

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

But shouldn’t gas-powered leaf blowers be banned completely in Montclair, and elsewhere?

Sincerely,

Bea Gone

They should, but reducing their use is progress — even as I still prefer rakes and the way they resemble big forks. As Montclair’s Yogi Berra said, “When you come to a rake in the road, it ain’t over ’til it’s over…a pile of leaves.”

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

That quote doesn’t sound quite right. Meanwhile, the Montclair Art Museum has become another local venue saying it will require visitors to prove they’ve been vaccinated or had a recent COVID test. Reasonable?

Sincerely,

Yes, MAM

Reasonable. Even “The Old Veteran” in the 1881 George Inness painting was asked to vaccinate. He made quite a stir last month when emerging from the picture to hobble into the old Kmart building for his shot.

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

Do you have a photo or video to prove that?

Sincerely,

Catcher in the Lie

Um…not to change the subject or anything, but various Bloomfield Avenue intersections will be getting upgrades such as new lights, signals, signage, striping, and toasters.

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

Multigrain bread, please. The Delta variant is a bit of a problem in Montclair, isn’t it?

Sincerely,

Flash in the Pandemic

Actually, I’m glad our town has more than one Delta gas station.

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

Seriously, with many Republicans opposing masks and saying people should have the “freedom” not to vaccinate, do they want COVID to continue in the hope that the resulting problems will electorally hurt Democrats now in office?

Sincerely,

Let’s Get Cynical

“Owning the libs” seems more important to much of the GOP than ending the pandemic, even as many Republican voters get sick. Thankfully, there’s no Montclair store in which to buy libs in order to own them.

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

But don’t some Montclair stores sell baby supplies?

Sincerely,

Ba-ba O’Reilly

I’m talking about “owning the libs,” not “owning the bibs.”

 

 

Dave Astor, author, is the MontClairVoyant. His opinions about politics and local events are strictly his own and do not represent or reflect the views of Baristanet.

 

 

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