MontClairVoyant: March in October After Much in September

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

Hundreds gathered in Montclair on October 2 to “october” for reproductive rights. Comment?

Sincerely,

Pro-Protesters

I realize there have been multiple months of anti-women venom from far-right Republican judges and politicians, but hundreds gathered in Montclair on October 2 to MARCH for reproductive rights.


DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

The impressively large crowd included many, many women. Couldn’t some of them have been named April, May, or June?

Sincerely,

Spring Awakening

I wish your humor were more august.


DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

Two days earlier, on September 30, Montclair’s schools superintendent presented the Board of School Estimate with a proposal to spend nearly $150 million on school-improvement projects until 2030.

Sincerely,

He Did the Monster Cash

Your statement’s three mentions of “school” or “schools” are as excessive as that $150 million price tag after the Board of Education this summer voted to request about $60 million in bondage.


DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

The vote was for bondING, you idiot. So, $60 million is enough to authorize for now?

Sincerely,

More Than Pocket Change

I think so. That figure also reminds me of Babe Ruth hitting 60 home runs in 1927, which later inspired CBS to name its show “60 Minutes” instead of “That Ticking Stopwatch Totally Creeps Me Out.”


DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

In other school news, the Board of Education and Montclair Education Association negotiated a 2021-22 contract for a 3.17 percent raise. Seems reasonable during this current economic time?

Sincerely,

Sal A. Ree

Yes. Public-school teachers are my heroines and heroes — most of them smart, concerned, talented, and hardworking. They’re in a helping profession, unlike hedge-clippers…um…hedge-funders.


DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

It seems like the BOE-MEA negotiations were more collaborative and less fraught than in previous years. A good thing?

Sincerely,

Ride on the Peace Train

I guess October 7 is “Obvious Question Day.”


DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

Hey — you used the same joke in last week’s column, with the only difference that September 30 was “Obvious Question Day.” Any defense for yourself?

Sincerely,

The Plagiarize’s the Thing

Okay, okay, 2021 is “Obvious Question Year.” Actually, not; it’s been an unpredictable 10 months. Who expected the “Delta variant” rather than the “Valero at Watchung Plaza” variant? Delta’s gas costs less.


DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

With abortion the target of red-state legislators and far-right U.S. Supreme Court justices like former West Caldwell resident Samuel Alito, what would those reactionaries do if men could get pregnant?

Sincerely,

Return to Gender

To echo a statement popularized by Flo Kennedy and Gloria Steinem, they’d rule that abortion is a sacrament.

 

 

Dave Astor, author, is the MontClairVoyant. His opinions about politics and local events are strictly his own and do not represent or reflect the views of Baristanet.

 

 

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3 COMMENTS

  1. “Sacrosanct” would have also worked, Frank, but “sacrament” has a stronger impact, I think.

    And thank you very much for the link to that terrific Gloria Steinem interview, which I just read. I admire her a lot.