MontClairVoyant: At Summer’s End, the Wrong Way to Spend


DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

By the time your next column appears on September 8, our town’s 2022-23 school year will have begun. Summer went fast, right?

Sincerely,

June J. August

Not sure how speedy Donna Summer was when that singer jogged.

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

In MacArthur Park, I suppose. Your thoughts as our children prepare to return to classrooms?

Sincerely,

The Desk Setting

I think of who their teachers will be, Genesis forms, school-supply runs to Montclair Stationery, school-lunch balances from last spring, and whether “Goodbye, Mr. Chips” is about a teacher or about not having enough lunch money to purchase cookies.

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

Don’t forget preseason sports practices.

Sincerely,

The Exercist

Impossible to do so; my 10th-grade daughter is on Montclair High’s gymnastics team. What do a good gymnast and a good helicopter pilot have in common? They both stick the landing.

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

Spare us the dumb riddles. Speaking of school matters, our district is seeking to hire an Executive Director of Communications and Community Engagement. Comment?

Sincerely,

Money for a Messenger

Many Montclair education officials could do better with communication and transparency, but the latter skill would be improved by reading more ghost stories.

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

Seriously, don’t you think those officials should do their own communicating rather than a new person doing some of it for them?

Sincerely,

Including Answering More Emails

Yup. And don’t forget that a number of teachers and paras were laid off for budget reasons, so adding a high-paying communications person is rather insulting. In fact, it’s worse optics than an eye doctor giving patients a Rolodex when they ask for contacts.


DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

I should’ve flung my contact lenses away like mini-Frisbees to avoid reading that line. In other news, Montclair’s library is adding outdoor seating and expanded wifi access. Nice?

Sincerely,

Margaret Fullerton

Nice! Students and parents sitting outside can access Genesis on their laptops. Or visit YouTube to watch 1970s performances by prog-rock bands other than Genesis: Pink Floyd, Yes, Rush, King Crimson, Renaissance, Emerson, Lake & Palmer…

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

Can a Renaissance student enjoy the music of Renaissance, or is that too predictable?

Sincerely,

Middle School Rule

Makes more sense than listening to Emerson, Lake & Glenfield.

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT,

While we’re talking music, isn’t it great that Outpost in the Burbs will be celebrating its 35th anniversary of bringing great concerts to our town?

Sincerely,

Concert-ed Effort

It is indeed! 1987 was also the year U2 released the song “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.” Not a problem for Montclair students — they’ll have found the first day of school on September 6.

 

Dave Astor, author, is the MontClairVoyant. His opinions about politics and local events are strictly his own and do not represent or reflect the views of Baristanet.

 

 

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