Home 2018

Archives

MontClairVoyant: Russian Novels Are Greater Than the Latest Lackawanna Plaza Plan

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT, Now that the latest latest Lackawanna Plaza plan is thankfully smaller, should that historic railroad station-turned commercial complex be renamed? Sincerely, Bloomfield of Dreams Call it "Lack Anna Plaza," because Anna Karenina didn't throw...

MontClairVoyant: Montclair Cat Has Nine Lives to Live and One Column to Write

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT, Hi! I'm your new cat. You've never missed a column since it started in 2003 in a newspaper that shall remain nameless but rhymes with Tontclair Mimes, so you need a...

MontClairVoyant: As New Year’s Day Nears, ‘New Year’s Day’ Song Inexplicably Appears

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT, With New Year's Day approaching, can you write a column incorporating the lyrics of Taylor Swift's "New Year's Day"? Sincerely, Shake It On Actually, I'll incorporate the lyrics of U2's "New Year's Day" and...

MontClairVoyant: This Column’s Weird Holiday Theme Will Make You Beam or Scream

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT, December is a month of major holidays -- including Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa. Any others you'd like to mention? Sincerely, The Decemberistas "Hurl Ornaments Day." (Target: the Republican tax-"reform" scam for the very...

MontClairVoyant: Kafkaesque ‘Metamorphosis’ of Lackawanna Plaza and Sexualized Logo?

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT, There were reports that the Dairy Air ice-cream place in Montclair is changing its sexualized cow-as-naked-woman logo in reaction to huge criticism. Great news? Sincerely, Sundae Nutty Sundae Yes. Now we won't have to...

MontClairVoyant: Sexism Is Everywhere, From DC to a New IC (Ice Cream) Place in...

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT, How do you spell "floccinaucinihilipilification"? Sincerely, An Absurd Word I Heard With great difficulty. Next question. DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT, The reason I asked is that "floccinaucinihilipilification" means "the estimation of something that's worthless," and I...

MontClairVoyant: Undefeated Mounties Are Great But There Are Reasons to Hate…Football

Still rooting for a win at Met Life tomorrow night.
MontClairVoyant

MontClairVoyant: Yes, I Also Discussed the Bellevue Last Week, So This Is A Double...

  DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT, One alleged reason for the Bellevue Theatre's dismaying shutdown is that it wasn't getting enough business. If true, and I'm not sure it is, why didn't the beloved movie house publicize this...

MontClairVoyant: A Murphy Bed in the Governor's Mansion and Other Election Reflections

What would you call Phil Murphy, Chris Christie, and Jon Corzine?

MontClairVoyant: All You Need Is Guv? A Comedic Preview of New Jersey's Election

With Election Day coming this Tuesday, Nov. 7, can you discuss who and what you think will be best for New Jersey and Montclair?

MontClairVoyant: You'll See What ELA Stands For When You Sit Down to Read This

BOE, Plofker and PARCC figure prominently.

Clever Commute