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MontClairVoyant: In 1492, Columbus Sailed the Mountie Blue

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT, With several moving-up ceremonies during the past few days in Montclair, sounds like a good column topic, no? Sincerely, Dee Plohmuzz Um...I did that last week when writing a mock commencement speech. Probably should've saved...

MontClairVoyant: Fake Speech Creates Woodman Field of Screams

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT, June is the month of graduation/moving-up ceremonies in Montclair for 12th, 8th, and 5th-graders. Would you like to offer a sample speech for anyone who speaks at those gatherings? Sincerely, Talk of the Gown Sure!...

MontClairVoyant: There Are 33 or 66 Reasons to Read This Column

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT, DeCamp is preparing to resume limited commuter service to New York City in mid-June. Your reaction? Sincerely, Ticket to Ride My reaction hasn't arrived yet. DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT, Ha ha -- I get it. As...

MontClairVoyant: Electing to Support an Elected Board of Education

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT, It looks like there'll be a referendum this November on whether Montclair's Board of Education should change from appointed to elected. How many approved signatures were on Vote Montclair's referendum petition? Sincerely, The...

MontClairVoyant: Much to Say About Montclair in May

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT, The historic Bellevue movie theater might reopen this fall or early next year. Thrilled? Sincerely, Tudor To-Do Thrilled! And the current ownership thankfully has a nice but less-upscale vision for the building than the previous...

MontClairVoyant: Reopening Schools and Pools, and Leaf-Clearing Tools

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT, Yikes! My son left the house at 7:15 this morning! Where did he go? Where would any middle-schooler go at that hour? It's a complete mystery. When will he return? WILL he...

MontClairVoyant: Is Hybrid Worth It? We Retort, You Applied

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT, Our town's middle schools are scheduled to reopen in hybrid mode this Monday, May 10. What do you think of having the three rotation groups rather than the originally planned two?...

MontClairVoyant: Mayorship Navigates an Ocean of Controversy

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT, Some people don't like that Mayor Spiller has made Board of Education appointments when he's also a high-ranking New Jersey Education Association exec. Comment? Sincerely, They Look for the Union Label Being Montclair mayor is...

MontClairVoyant: BOE Also Means ‘Barrage of Education’ News

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT, Three new Board of Education members were named. One departing BOE member lashed out in a statement. The district announced middle schools will reopen May 10 in hybrid mode. The Spring 2021...

MontClairVoyant: Buckle Up for a Bus-Themed Column

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT, With our town's elementary schools reopening in hybrid mode April 12 after over a year of remote instruction, I saw some students standing at bus stops this week. What were they waiting...

MontClairVoyant: NJSLA Confidential – Those Tests Aren’t Good

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT, A few days ago, our school district sent out a letter that included seven sad words -- a number that brought to mind late comedian George Carlin's seven "dirty" words. What were...

MontClairVoyant: April Fools Follies Follow March Madness

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT, If/when our town's elementary schools reopen April 12, students will easily social-distance much more than six feet from each other during this continuing time of COVID. Impressed? Sincerely, Protocol Pro's Prose Very impressed! Um, wait,...

MontClairVoyant: A Season for Treason and Reason

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT, Montclair is known for having many famous past and current residents. Can you alphabetically list some of them, while including one fake name at the end? Sincerely, Sela Britties Buzz Aldrin, Yogi Berra, Stephen Colbert,...

MontClairVoyant: COVID and Cuomo and Coming Construction

DEAR MONTCLAIRVOYANT, Mountainside Medical Center began offering COVID vaccinations to Montclair teachers three days after a March 12 press conference announcing that would happen. Great news? Sincerely, Go Tell It on the Mountainside Yes! The greatest March...

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